Q is for Quality and Quantity.
Many, many eons ago, Master declared it to be a Law of the Land that our play would henceforth be governed by the Quality over Quantity clause.
We had, at that point in our play, fallen into a trap of thinking we HAD to do *something* all the time, every day, or whenever we could. We’d be cramming these mini play sessions in, sessions that often left one or both of us hanging because there wasn’t time to finish it.
“Finish” can mean a multitude of things. It might mean one or both of us didn’t orgasm because often our play is very sexual. It might mean one or both of us didn’t have time to reach a high or, worse, that one of us reached a high and it was cut off at the knees.
Masochism, at least my particular version of masochism, isn’t about finding pleasure in pain. It’s more the exchange of power and energy, coupled with the endorphin rush that physical pain provides. So, it seemed like all too often, in these rushed mini sessions there would be just all pain and no energy, which fell very flat for both of us.
He likened it to taking 12 mini weekend vacations a year to a local attraction versus saving up all year and taking a 2-week vacation in Paris. Or the Bahamas. (Or Germany)
So the law was declared. If it was determined that we didn’t have the time for a proper scene, or if we both weren’t equally into it, he would say “Quality over quantity!” and instead we’d go watch a movie or just fuck or, you know, whatever.
All’s well that end’s well.
Sometimes I feel like we’ve gone too far the other way.
Like maybe we’re putting too much emphasis on quality. Not every interaction has to be a tour-de-force performance.
Sometimes I feel like we might both really be in the mood for something but we know we have limited time/energy/whatever so we don’t even try.
I think, in general, quality over quantity is a good standard to have, especially if quality had begun to suffer. But I don’t think that should mean we dismiss quantity all together.
There CAN be exceptional quality in large quantities.
I mean, a weekend vacation to the nearest beach once in awhile is pretty fucking sweet, right?