I have to come right out and say that I don’t get the “mastering and owning someone doesn’t require any work on the Owner’s part” school of thought.
Don’t get it. This is high school algebra all over again. Everyone else is busily finding x for y and I’m staring at the paper with my eyes glazed over.
It’s not like Master just walked up to me and said “I own you now, bitch. BAM!”
There were things he did to make that happen. There are things he does to keep it happening.
Is it me? It’s gotta be me because I seem to be the minority. Most of what I hear is “He gets to do what he wants! D’uh! Smite thee, you poor excuse for a slave!”
It’s not like we’ve got our kink on 24 hours a day because nothing could be further from the truth. We’ve got our kink on about 24 hours a YEAR lately. But kink isn’t ownership and what he does to reinforce that ownership isn’t kinky stuff. But it is something. It’s words and it’s actions and it’s attitude and presence- but it’s something and without that something I’d drift away.
It was OD who made the analogy of magnets and iron fillings and I still find that analogy to be accurate for me. I need his force to hold me together.
I say things like that and people walk away with the impression that I require, or that I demand him to perform to my standards or to cater to my needs but it’s just not like that. These are HIS needs, too. I’m catering to him at least as much as, if not more, than he’s meeting mine.
Maybe that’s really the bottom line then. Finding the one who matches your needs. He needs someone he can micromanage and bark orders at and smack around without being charged with assault and I need someone to do that to me, even if I balk about it. I guess it’s a good thing we met each other and not people of the opposite camp.