I’m gearing up for surgery, which is in 2 weeks (13 days, actually). I’m nervous as fuck about it, to tell the truth. I don’t like pain, did you know? True story.
I’ve got a grocery list going and I’m shopping today. My plan is to only make things I can double and freeze between now and then (eat one for dinner, freeze the other), mostly easy thing- casseroles, soups, and stews, etc. I don’t expect that I’ll be unable to cook for 2 weeks after, but I want to be prepared anyway and they keep for months in the freezer so it’s not a waste. I’m going to freeze a batch of breakfast burritos for Master so he can make a quick and easy breakfast before work- at least until I am up and around.
He may have to start and scrape ice and snow off his own truck for a bit, though. ~cue irrational thoughts of omg-slave-fail-waah~
My mom keeps saying she wants to come here, at least for a few days, because she just thinks parents should be there when their kids are having surgery. So I guess it really is true that being a mommy never stops. I mean, she’s 70 and I’m 42 and she still feels that way. Heh. But I also know that it’s a long drive (9 hours) and she’s not in the kind of health where she can make that sort of drive in one shot. Plus, she’s super paranoid about driving in bad weather and it IS winter and we do live in the U.P. so I’m not really expecting her to come. I appreciate that she wants to, that’s enough.
My sister, C, also wants to come here. She had the same surgery a few years back and she insists that I’ll “absolutely need” her here for the entire 2 months, lol. Other people tell me I’ll be fine in a week. I *think* C is just looking for a chance to get away from her current boyfriend (based mainly on the fact that my OTHER sister, D, called me a few weeks back and specifically asked me if I would let C stay here, using “taking care of me” as the excuse until D could then fly C to where she lives because the boyfriend is a douche, that D and C had planned this and would I help out by pretending I needed the help). However, when I tried to talk about it to C she acted like she had no fucking idea what I was talking about. So, hell if I know.
At any rate, she can come here if she wants to and stay for as long as she wants. I don’t care. We have the space, and it would be nice to see her. I think she’ll be bored out of her gourd in about 3 days though. She’s a big time drinker and likes the bar scene and we… don’t. We’ve been to the bar 2 times in the last 5 years. Master occasionally has a few drinks after dinner if he’s not on call, but it’s not nightly and it’s a not an “event” like it is with them. They plan their lives around it. Ugh.
To further complicate matters she also lives 9 hours away and has neither a car or a drivers licence and do I really want to drive all that way, and back, to get her? I totally would if she really is hatching this escape plan from the douchey boyfriend because I don’t like him either but if it really is just because she thinks I’ll need someone to vacuum, I can make other arrangements.
I mean, there’s another offer on the table from someone else anyway, soooo…. And it’s a much more attractive-and-benficial-to-Master offer.
In the meantime, C and D can figure it out and just clue me in, my mom can drive here if she wants to, but I need to cook. And I really wanted to get the now-two empty bedrooms repainted and organized and such so if someone, or all of them, do decide to show up, things look decent. Both rooms desperately need it. I’ve made decent progress on boxing things up (both Am and Jes left a crap-ton of stuff behind, not to mention the nail holes and tack holes) and I’m even going to store all of Babygirl’s stuff (toddler bed, toys, leftover clothes) because they really aren’t moving back. ~heartache~
But it’s closure, of sorts, too. Having her bedroom all set up with her bed and her toys like she’s gonna walk through the door any second is just painful. Maybe I’m overly attached, but goodness, she did live here 24 hours a day. But it’s good. Really. I’m making lots of progress and I’m excited about this next stage in our lives.
B-man will be gone in July (assuming everything goes according to his plan), Jes and family can’t even think about leaving Tx until 2015, and then he’s talking about re-enlisting and requesting being stationed in Germany(!!), so who knows how that will turn out. And Am, of all people, is talking about moving to freaking Washington state in a year or two (for a girl!) (which I’m just kind of “yeah, whatever” about because we all know how these internet, LDR’s work out, right?) (Like me and Master. O.O) (But srsly. It’s just too soon in their relationship (air quotes) for me to think that’s a certainty. ~flaps hand~)
Is that terribly dismissive of me? I don’t say that to HER… well, I do but not quite so callously. We’ve talked about it and stuff, and she IS 20 years old and a tad bit too old for me to forbid anything. We’ve just kind of gone over the oh, you better meet her first (she is) and don’t rush into anything (she isn’t. They’ve ‘known’ each other since freshman in high school) and blah blah blah…
Can you imagine? If jes and kids ended up in Germany (or stationed anywhere else because it certainly won’t be here. Or anywhere near here. There isn’t even an Army base close by.) and Am ended up in Washington and B-man is headed for North Carolina (I think?). So scattered and so far away!
Point is, they’re all doing their thing and going their ways, and I’m gonna have this surgery (and be “fixed” and get my life back, god dammit) so I’m just really looking forward to what Master has in store for us and what can happen next. It’s exciting. We talk a lot about changes we want to make to the house, specifically changes that will increase play time. Opening up the space downstairs for a dungeon and finishing the fence outside for outdoor play… That was the dream, you know? It’s suddenly not so far out of reach.
He makes comments here and there about what it’s going to be like or what he wants to happen and I get all squishy in my bits. Not just about play and sex but about the mental stuff, the…. I don’t know. The enslavement that has slipped a little recently. Intriguing and exciting.
Right now I’m just overwhelmingly nervous, though. Surgery. 13 days. ~cries~