Under His Hand

The journal of a slave

Goodbye 2012

In 2012:

…I thought Master was going to throw in the towel and leave me after my daughter announced her second pregnancy. He did not. I finally understood he is in this life with me and he will be right by my side through all the tough times. No matter what.

…We tried to be poly with Tigger. It didn’t work out but we had some great sex and I still adore her and think she’s the sexiest thing alive. We may not have her as a lover but she’ll always be our friend.

…I turned a bathroom into a 70′s gay porn set, complete with zebra stripes.

…We helped my daughter move into her first apartment and begin the process of growing up. Belatedly, but successfully.

…Master let me adopt a new dog and she’s my pampered silly little pooch. I love her.

…I rescued two kitties and they are pains in my ass.

…We went on a clean-eating diet and it was going GREAT. We felt great, we were looking great– and then we stopped. I don’t know why.

…I watched my first-born get married. MARRIED.

…He refinanced this house and saved himself a ton of money.

…He bought a camper (old and used but cool!) and an SUV with said saved money.

…We made a path out of 6 tons of rock. Wheelbarrow-full by wheelbarrow-full. It is beautiful. We put up a privacy fence; also beautiful. We planted trees and berry bushes- again, beautiful. Permanency. Beautiful.

…We went camping and had a wonderful kinky time. We made new friends and reconnected with old friends.

…We helped the middle kid move into her first apartment, to find her own independence, her own way.

…I coached my daughter through labor and got to watch the birth of my granddaughter. That was beyond beautiful.

…My heart was ripped out and shattered when I had to say goodbye to both of my granddaughters and my daughter when they moved across the country.

…I suddenly had two empty bedrooms in a quiet house that had once been filled with noise and mess and chaos and people.

…Multiple parts of my anatomy staged a coup.

…I had embarrassing butt-surgery.

…Kink went on hold.

…The dynamic did not.

…I signed my youngest, my baby, my son, over to the US Government.

…I cried bittersweet tears over all of my babies growing up.

…Master spent omg-too-much money on Christmas. Spoiled is an understatement.

…Another surgery looms and I’m a little scared.

…But it’s okay to be scared because I learned earlier this year that Master will be right by my side through all the tough times. No matter what.

2012 brought love, new life, and painful goodbyes. It brought realizations and a deeper meaning to our life together. There were more successes than failures, more epiphanies than confusion, more gain than loss.

2013 looks bright and promising. I hope the same for all of you.

7 Responses to “Goodbye 2012”

  • morningstar

    Hope all your wishes come true in 2013 :)

  • SirQsmlb

    Happy New Year. I hope that this next year has more of the wonderful and less of the painful! Though the understanding that Sir will not leave your side is priceless!

  • TakenbyLovely

    Tears and love and happy 2013.

  • weirdgirl

    it certainly was a huge year – for many many people.

    best wishes to you and yours in 2013 xxx

  • Amber

    “There were more successes than failures, more epiphanies than confusion, more gain than loss.”

    Well said. :)

  • John

    Quite a year…. I love to camp.

  • omega

    Took a break today to catch up on my favorite Woman..and what did I find? This very sweet mention of lil me! I’m honored to make your 2012 list and still think you’re incredibly sexy too! I don’t need your butt or your “kitty” to completely love and adore you:)


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