« | Home | »

I Love you Lurkers! And a giveaway!

I love the non-lurkers, too. I love all of you who read here.

I’ve been blogging since 2005 and I enjoy it today just as much as I did in the beginning. So many of you that I never would have known existed I can now call a friend because of blogging. At one time, you were all lurkers to me, strangers, anonymous voices on the internet. Because of you guys I feel connected to a world outside of these four walls and for that I am so so grateful. For your time, your comments, your support, your honesty and the occasional kick in the ass… Thank you. :)

You guys give me so much, not the least of which is the motivation to keep doing what I love to do. So I’m going to copy an idea I read over at Conina’s place because it’s brilliant. I’m going to offer a return gift.

We can quibble on the definition of “gift” after you get it. Bwaha!

Each unique visitor who leaves a comment telling me a little bit about yourself and why you read here will be entered into a random drawing for a brand new, never been snapped, never caused me to yelp, pretty purple-handled MISERY STICK! Yay!

Now you might be thinking to yourself “Mhm. Check out this bitch trying to sneak the ouchie shit outta her house.” and you’d be right. BUT! ~flaps hands~ Details are unimportant. What is important is that YOU, my lovely lurking friend-to-be, becomes the rightful owner of this bee-yoo-tee-ful, tiny, innocent looking stick.

You might even be able to talk Master into making a recorded demo on how to use it for maximum ow potential. So you see? I’d get mine, too. ;)

Now, if you are selected as the winner but you don’t want it, you already have one, or you aren’t comfortable giving me your shipping information, you can pass it on to another person of your choice who does want it or you can tell me to select a new winner. Or, if you want something else, we’ll talk. I have lots of ouchie stuff I wouldn’t mind rehoming other things we can talk about. ~whistles at the ceiling~

Here’s how to participate:

Leave a comment, you can still be “anonymous”– just make up a name or letter combination to sign it with so I have something to identify you with.

I will leave this open through the weekend, say Sunday evening at 9pm central time and then I’ll try and figure out how to use a random number generator (if anyone knows how to do this, holla!) to select a winner. As Conina pointed out, with anonymous commenting, this will require some semblance of the honor system, but the prize is not so valuable as to generate waste comments over it. So behave yourselves.

Even if you have no interest in, nor use for a misery stick and want nothing to do with the giveaway, this is still just LOL Day and on LOL Day, we love you for lurking. You are fabulous.


(Thanks always to Bonnie for keeping up this fun day!)

105 Responses to “I Love you Lurkers! And a giveaway!”

  1. Tamar says:

    Woo, am I the first to comment? LOL I love your blog, love your writing, and I’m actually wracking my brain to figure out how that ‘misery stick’ works. XD

  2. Pagan60 says:

    Don’t know if I am a lurker, as have ‘come out’ before. But enjoy reading your blog, enjoy getting my Kaya fix. And reading the comments your followers leave. You can learn so much of various opinions and view points on the different subjects. It is really enlightening, seeing how others can see the same situation as you but in totally different light. Your blog is educational. Have a great day. Jenny

    • kaya says:

      Oh I miss the conversations that used to go in the comments. It doesn’t happen so much anymore, sadly. But I still get wonderful comments, all the same. :)

  3. Conina says:

    I totally love it when people steal ideas from me! :) (no, really, I do…)

    Misery stick: looks good for nipples! (I think that about everything)

    As with many of the blogs I read, I believe I’ve degenerated into mostly-lurker. But I’m always here! Thank you for sharing so much of your life – you were always the standard I judged my own kink by. “I’m not really a masochist. Kaya’s a masochist.”

    Then one day, probably about the time I was having a ruler broken over my nipple.. I realized that didn’t make any sense. Because yeah, I did like it and that did make me a masochist.

    Just not Kaya-level. ;)

    TMI? Nah, no such thing.

    • kaya says:

      That’s the price to pay for having good ideas. Especially ideas that conveniently give me the opportunity to rid Master’s hands of ouchie things. He has too many. -nods-

      I used to do that same self-judging and would always find myself coming up short against someone elses activities. It tickles me to think other people have done that using ME as the standard when I was so busy telling myself how I wasn’t a good enough masochist, lol.

      I’m over it, too, now. No levels, no judging, no blue ribbons. Just purple-handled misery sticks and you are in the running. :)

  4. Hermione says:

    Hi Kaya,

    Happy LOL 7 day! I’m a regular visitor to your blog, and always enjoy your posts.


  5. Serene says:

    Oh Kaya my love, you are such a giver. Seriously, I am brought to tears over here. (Wait.. maybe that’s the clamps..Nah, HAS to be you)

  6. jess says:

    This is the first time Ive ever commented on your blog, but I think Ive been following it avidly since about 2007 and feel as if I know you and have loved reading about how b-man, am and jess have grown up over the years as well as seeing how yours and Ms relationship has developed.

    • kaya says:

      Isn’t it weird that they’ve ‘grown up’ on the blog? I was thinking about that the other day. B-man was 10 years old when I started this. Now he’s 17. Blows my mind.

      And thank you for reading. :)

  7. Nimue says:

    Hi there!!

    I’ve been lurking on here almost since you started this blog, you are one of the people who inspired me to start up my own blog! I love your honesty and openness, even when life isn’t all fun and kinky!

    I also (several years ago now) bought some of your tack bra inserts off you, and they still sit in the toybag scaring the hell out of me!!

    • kaya says:

      Funny, Master just ordered me to make new inserts for myself. Mine got used and abused to the point of falling apart. I’ve been avoiding making any for about 2 years, lol.

  8. Isis1969 says:

    Hi over there,
    I’m reading your blog now for years and years, and although I’m not into bdsm, I think your “stuff” is interesting! And you really know how to write good posts!
    Many greetings from Germany


  9. Kirsten says:

    Hello! Lurker here, have been lurking for about 5 years. I’m a TOTAL vanilla, so should I be the lucky ‘winner’ I would gift the stick right back to you!
    I think your writing is amazing and I really enjoy reading about people with different lifestyles than mine. As always, I wish you and yours the absolute best. :)

  10. skyjoy says:

    Hi Kaya, I’ve been lurking around on your blog and a few others for almost a year maybe a bit longer. I’m older and mostly vanilla but but fancy a bit of kink, although I have to get it vicariously. If we, hubby and I, were a bit younger I might try to interest him to try in real life.

    You write well, deep at times and often humorous. Your blog shows us a different way of living.

    Continue writing! Take me out of your lucky drawing as ‘we’ wouldn’t know what to do with your gift other than to ‘return to sender.’


  11. Vanilla Fan says:

    I’ve de-lurked here an there, but I’m always a fan. I love your writing.

  12. joolz says:

    Hi Kaya, I have been reading your blog since before I started mine and have commented once or twice (so I guess I am not such a lurker). I love to read the mix of all aspects of your life which is what makes you real to me.

    A misery stick like that would be an interesting addition to our pain giving repertoire and as Conina suggests be very good for the nipples!

    Julie x

    • kaya says:

      Oh my goodness. If you think it’s good for the nipples, you’ve never felt it there, lol. But I’m all for people learning the hard way. *snicker*

  13. Theresa says:


  14. lep says:

    Hey lady, and M of course!

    Seems a long time ago we used to be in the same chatroom, its wonderful to see you both grow so far. I’m glad you are “living it real” or whatever you crazy americans say…lol

  15. Debbie says:

    I’ve been lurking here for probably about 4 years now… Love your blog, perversely after all these years I think i look forward to the vanilla updates more than the kink!

  16. TC says:

    Hi Kaya,
    I have been reading since I guess 2005. That would be during my husbands 1st deployment when I finally got up the nerve to tell him how messed up and in need of beating I was, over Skype I might add. Just in case he decided he didn’t wanna participate, I could say “just kiddin’!” You have kept me company during many long nights when he is gone and long hours when he is snoring next to me! I can’t say I really want the misery stick, would probably rather have a blue rubber thuddy thing that leaves pretty purple marks. But the hubby loves to hear me squeal to the tune of the stingy stuff…yep, he participates. In fact, little did I know the man is an overachiever and I am now along for the ride! Almost 8 years later, I wonder where the nice sweet man I married went, oh yeah, he actually read the posts I pointed out!!!thanks a lot S!

    • kaya says:

      Well if he likes the stingy stuff the misery stick is perfect for you. :) I’m excited!

      • TC says:

        Hey! I thought joining this club meant some sort of sister solidarity sh**??? He makes his own stingy things just fine…Ever looked at a kite nowadays? They are built with very thin, whippy, plastic sticks. They don’t break! And they should come with a warning label about the language they produce!

  17. Pixel says:

    Ooh. I recently de-lurked, and I’ve been reading you for a while now. Two years, maybe? I’ve loved the writing, and I have to admit that I’ve stole…I mean ‘borrowed’ a scene idea or two from your man. ;)

    I’d definitely end up using that stick if I won, and my pet will just love it, I’m sure! *evil grin*

  18. Lila-Kitten says:

    Gurl… fuck that noise… you and your Master sent my Master TWO of those sons of bitches for our Wedding Gift.

    My titties will NEVER forgive you. (But they love you, too)

    • kaya says:

      Did you break them both? You will need a replacement!

      • Lila-Kitten says:

        No. they aren’t broken. He LOVES them. He’s still using them. He brings them to the movies and pops me on the leg and arm. He thumps me with them to get my attention. He thumped out a tic tac toe board on my thigh at a play party and played tic tac toe with another Dom.

        Man, wtf…

  19. Kaz says:

    Hi Kaya,
    Been reading for about 2 years, since I stumbled upon you while looking for.. well, other stuff ;)
    Greetings from across the pond

    • kaya says:

      Ooooh. What kind of other stuff, hmm? :P

      • Kaz says:

        Hehe… Well, I was just beginning my journey into BDSM soooo.. anything I could find really – think I came here from IC in a roundabout way.
        I’m well on my way now though, with a wonderful Master, and your archives really helped in the early days when it felt like I just couldn’t do it, that someone else struggled as much as me with it :O
        (I don’t really *want* the misery stick btw, but it might make Christmas interestin :D

  20. Carly says:

    I’ve been reading since your LJ days, but spent most of that time lurking. I enjoy reading this blog because you have a very unique relationship that you present in a way that is honest and without pretense.

  21. Rayne says:

    Am I lurker??? I’m thinking not. Also, I don’t want the stick. Does He know your giving it away? Iol!

    I have been reading you for almost 5 years! I love hearing about your life! Kink and no kink.

  22. Caroline says:

    I’ve commented before, so not technically a lurker. But that’s okay because I don’t want the stick anyway, you’d have to draw a new winner.

    My interest in bdsm is totally theoretical, and I am decidedly not a masochist at all. I read you because you’re interesting, it’s a new world to me, but mostly because you’re an excellent writer.

    Be well and happy.

  23. Don W says:

    A little something about me: I’m from Long Island, NY (“Ground 1″ for Sandy, if not Ground zero), and although I had minimal damage (1 tree, no flooding) our block was without power for 4 days and I was without power for 10 (that one tree ripped the power line right off the pole). But I’m thankful – it could have been way worse.

    – Don

  24. Morga says:

    I’ve been de-lurking every year on LOLday! :-)
    I started reading (maybe 3+ years ago) because I was curious about BDSM, since some gothic styles have some influences of BDSM.. And me being a ‘good’ gotihc girl that I am, I wanted to understand where it came from-the leather/pvc clothes and acessories.
    Then I kept following your blog because I liked the way you write, witty, sometimes bitchy (in a funny way!).. And also I like to have a peek into other people’s lifes
    Is the giveaway open internationally? (Hi, i’m from Portugal, western Europe..)

  25. ksst says:

    Ha ha! I’m not a lurker at all so you can’t give me your misery stick. I just like making comments.

    A little big about myself? Um, I hate centipedes. I have too many dogs and not enough kitties. I love your coffee, especially on cold mornings, and am not really keen on jumping jacks, unless they are entertaining to my Master and friends. Why I read? I think you are brilliant, entertaining, insightful, hilarious and lovely. Blushing yet?

  26. Longingtobe says:

    I love your blog, you make me laugh. I long to have what you have. Feels like I never will, but you give me hope:)
    Thank you <3

  27. faithful says:

    Love your blog and I do comment now and then – thinking about starting my own when Master deploys in 30 days (sigh)as I am sure I will need the support then more then ever(shudders thinking about it).

    I was drawn to your blog because of your love for animals which is where my true love is as well.

    You are brave and I am not sure I could ever endure what you do. I do think you are brilliant with your words as well and enjoy the transparency you share each day.

    As far as that sticky thingy- well considering Master will be deployed for GULP… 400 LONG days, I suppose I could save it for his return :)


    • kaya says:

      Oh, I’m so sorry he has to deploy! That sucks all around. You most certainly should start a blog to help pass the time. It’s loads of fun!

    • TC says:

      I just found out my husband is deploying again also. (Maybe thats why I reading here souch again, getting into practice!) This will be his third, second since our life shifted to whatever it is we call it! He is gone for 12+ mos each time also. I only comment to encourage you. You can do this! It sucks, it’s hard but it can be done and honestly, can be even a more intimate bond when he returns. More intimate may seem impossible considering what we do together but believe me, it happens. And yes, blogging can help, so can reading others blogs. Just don’t do what I did last time and read so much you get to be a lazy a** and get it beaten on his R&R for slacking :-)

  28. Satcomdude says:

    Not a complete lurker but I am a long time reader and have only posted a few.

  29. battlesheeps says:

    I’ve been reading for quite a while..but actually I just come here for the weather reports.

  30. Meg says:

    I’ve been lurking for a number of years. Probably since 2007-ish. I found your blog on my path to self-discovery. I love your writing and your tell-it-like-it-is style.

  31. zelda says:

    Do I count as a lurker if I’ve posted before..?

    Either way, I read because I enjoy you and I enjoy your writing. I also find your blog inspirational when I’m struggling along my own path. Please keep writing. <3

  32. Jes says:

    I’ve been a creepy mouthbreathing lurker for about two years. I <3 your blog. Happy LOL day!

  33. nilla says:

    I never win anything, so I feel safe in leaving a *wave*…I’m not a lurker anymore, thanks to you!
    Yours was the first blog I commented on, ever. I was a lurker for a year, and your stories, so raw and open and real touched me. And …twisted something loose inside of me (no not my brains! LOL!)…and suddenly …there were OTHER blogs to read about…So kaya, you opened a door for me, and in a long, twisted, roundabout way, if I hadn’t stumbled upon YOUR blog, and been brave enough to comment that first time, I’d never had started my own 3 years ago now, never found my Master…never be the person I am today. I’d never have known there was a …place…for people like me (other than “hell”) who got turned on by this shit. So thank you. I’m proud to be no longer a lurker.


    • kaya says:

      Aww, nilla. Then I’m very glad to have played a part in opening the door for you. What a ride, eh? :D

      (and you’re still in the drawing. :D )

  34. Alana says:

    I de-lurked for the first time recently, but I’ve been reading your blog for ages (from sunny Australia). I came for the kink (impressively intense btw), but stay for all the stories about your pets, and your kids, and your relationship.

    • kaya says:

      That is really so nice to hear, that people like the vanilla stuff. Sometimes I think I must be disappointing because the kink isn’t as prevalent as it used to be. Thank you for saying that. You made my night. :)

  35. Holly says:

    I started following you regularly when you first started posting…. I must have found you right at the beginning because I remember reading you in 2005 I think! I was just about to post something very similar to what nilla said. You were my first kinky blog, too, and like she says, I found other blogs through yours, and then on my own. I loved reading someone who was real, sincere, with real feelings, real emotions, from happy to sad to frustrated…just REAL. Up until then it was just porn acting and books for me. You helped open a door for me, too…always knowing that I was a submissive but never having the courage or even real knowledge of how to find someone to share it with. (Plus, I was stuck in a bad marriage for awhile.)

    I finally got the balls to put out an ad online looking for a Dominant, and literally within 20 minutes got a bunch of responses, weeded out most but a couple, and then realized one was just completely real and awesome. Talked very intensively and thoroughly for a while, met, had our first session, and now I am very, very happily His sub. And I have never been happier with anything in my life. You helped me realize that I was normal, and that it is perfectly acceptable to want the things that I do. So, thank you!!

    And p.s., I’m the Holly on your fb page, so guess I’m not much of a lurker, lol.

  36. D says:

    I want the stick, but you know what would make it *really* special? Some pictures of the marks it leaves on your tits, so I can compare it with the marks it leaves on my slave’s…

    Also, as your tack bra was mentioned above: how do you keep the tacks from falling out of the inserts? My slave’s tack bra sheds tacks, which could cause me to step on one. Do you have any idea how much tacks hurt when they are pressed against flesh? It’s definitely something to be avoided.

    • Lila-Kitten says:

      When Master made my tackbra, he pushed the tacks through the fabric, then glued another piece of fabric over the tack heads so they couldn’t slip out… it’s worked really well. We used fabric, too, so it’s actually washable.

  37. LK says:

    I probably still count as a lurker, I don’t comment too much.

    I’m WAY past bed time so I’ll keep this short, but, any recommendations for getting into deep play piercing? Seeing your experience with nails I’m guessing you guys have some experience with it, and I’d very much like to get into it, but, it’s important to me I be safe.

    Hope you are well!

  38. Hope you LOL Day is good for you.


  39. c says:

    You inspired me to start a blog, so that I could de-lurk! But that was a couple of years ago now. I’ve think I’ve been reading here for… forever? Long time, at least. You rock!

  40. Villanelle says:

    I’m a mainly-lurker and I really don’t want that misery stick. It looks kinda painful or something. (Yeah, I would suck at being a sub.)

    But I wanted to say I’ve been reading your blog for a good few years now and I think you are absolutely wonderful and funny and honest and brilliant. Don’t always agree with everything you write, but then, thank God for that, if everyone agreed with everyone else all the time we’d never get anywhere and it would be boring.

    Respect, lady. You’re fabulous.

  41. Satcomdude says:

    Ive been sudo lurking(I comment now and then) for years. But I know my slave would hate that so Ive go to try and win it!

  42. Calliphora says:

    I shouldn’t do this, I’ve read about this awful misery stick for years now and still here I am, can’t keep myself from participating…

    I’ve been following you since 2006, sometimes it feels like I’m stalking you, sometimes I think of you as a friend I just haven’t met yet.

    Something about me? I’m throwing myself under the bus, that pretty much says it all… ;)

  43. Whitepeach says:

    Good Evening from a not so sunny Johannesburg, South Africa.

    I’ve been lurking here for a while now and love the way you are so open about all your experiences Bdsm or otherwise, you inspire me to keep on trying to find my place in this world of this thing we do. And yes a day without Kaya is like a day without my morning coffee. Keep it up lovely lady.


  44. Mssahara says:

    De-lurker day always makes me think about when I first started reading your blog….and honestly I can’t remember. I had to have started sometime in college, probably 5 or 6 years ago…but you were my very first foray into the BDSM scene, back when I thought I was a sub. Your blog has been incredibly educational over the years, so thank you so much!

    Ms Sahara

  45. just w says:

    Hi Kaya,

    I have been reading you for a long long time and I de-lurk every now and then. About once a year I am compelled to plead with you to write a book… 50 Shades of a Cunt Cupboard?

    Anywhooo…this morning I was asked “did you enter Kaya’s contest yet?”
    I really think that he should, since he is the real lurker here, and the one who wants that stoopid stick. But …you know.

    I enjoy your writing but gawd woman…keep those sticks to yerself.


  46. The Dry Guy says:

    I don’t remember what long list of wandering led me to your blog, about two years ago… But I am glad I wandered in. I enjoy yur outlook on life, and the way you are willing to share it with all of us. took me a long while to read back through the archives to get caught up.
    About me… Just a lurker, one comment in 2 years. Closet kink, wife is pretty vanilla, but gotta love her anyway :) She puts up with me, so that puts her in line for sainthood.

  47. Rachel says:

    Hi, Kaya,

    I’ve been reading your blog since what seems like forever, and am always impressed by the energy you pour into your words, even when you don’t feel like sharing your world. I also admire your discipline to keep writing at all; I write, but take ‘breaks’ that sometimes last for years. It’s been an honor to learn about you in this way.

    Thank you.


  48. Caro says:

    Lol really? So I’ve been lurking for a few days now, and enjoy your blog thoroughly! Thank you for sharing so much…

  49. jewel` says:

    There are quite a few ouchie things i would love to gift to someone else. Things Fyre rarely uses and sometimes i think He may have forgotten about them. Then He will bring one of them out. i’ve even told Him i’ve thought about getting rid of the unused items when i’ve cleaned out or reorganized His room. i got “the look” and quickly let Him know i wouldn’t do more than think about it simply because i realise He knows exactly what things He has in there and would miss even the smallest of items if it were to go missing.

    i too love reading more about the day to day stuff over the kink. It is helpful to know how others deal with the power exchange relationships in the day to day in front of and around other people.

    As for the stick, Fyre gifted me with a set of them for my birthday a couple of years ago so no need to have my name in the draw.

    i do have a question for you though. What sort of coffee maker do you have?

  50. A.S.S. says:

    Happy LOL Day! Believe this is our first comment here, though we’ve certainly read before. The chance to win free spanking stuff though… WELL worth a delurk!

    ~Todd and Suzy

  51. weirdgirl says:

    i’vce been lurking since 2006 (well, commenting here and there too…) and i keep coming back because your honesty and humour is so refreshing.Here’s to lots more years xxx Love from Down Under ;)

  52. Zaylindia says:

    Hey, I’m not really sure if I want that or not ;)
    Yup, I’ve been lurking for a while now. I really enjoy (:/) reading your blog ;) Sometimes I read with fear and consternation LOL. When I read your post about your anniversary, then I got a “better” picture of your relationship with your Master :)
    My Love and I have not been bdsmer’s for long, but we have been married for 14 years. I am so happy in my role and I think that He is too :D We are D/s. He being the Dom. I think that we are moving toward M/s.
    Keep writin’ :)

  53. Slave Bunny says:

    HI!!!! you’ve seen me here and there. i’m more of a lurker than i should be but i love your blog. And i also have no idea what a ouchy stick is used for. But since i found Hatter we’ve been trying to find new things to try out, im sure He’d find some way to ouch with it, lol!

  54. Ginger says:

    Hi Kaya, love your blog. Makes me feel normal about the little things I do. I sent you and email about 2 weeks ago telling you why I read. I just like the way you write, very easy to follow and addicting as well.

  55. Serina says:

    Hi Kaya, I’ve been lurking since 2009. You were the first blog I found, when I discovered I was kinky. For about 3 years I kept watching you as I slowly came to accept my own slavery desires, and have learnt SO MUCH from you because of your honesty and openness. Some of what you do scares the fuck out of me (in a good way) and sometimes when things are hardest for me, I think of you, and what you’ve dealt with and it makes me feel like I’m invincible, and can get through anything, because you have shown me just how strong a person can be. I’m now 7 months into my first real, honest, intense M/s relationship, and it is more than I ever imagined it could be… and I owe alot of this to you. I live in Australia, and we’ll probably never meet, but you’ve had such a positive effect on my life… Thank you for being you.

  56. Amber says:

    I continue to read here for the vanilla stuff too, we don’t do anything BDSM-y anymore, I’ve pretty much lost interest, although it was a blast for a long time. So when you write about the kids, grands, pets, family stuff, personal thoughts, that’s what keeps me coming back. Plus you’re an awesome writer! :)

  57. sunnydalesue says:

    Hi Kaya! I’ve been reading your blog for a year or so and mostly lurking. At first it was interesting to hear about your journey into M/s with Scott because Bdsm was so foriegn to me…now I read your blog because it’s like catching up with an old friend. Thanks for sharing your life and talent :-)

  58. Anna S says:

    love reading your blog

  59. Hil says:

    Hi Kaya

    I’ve been reading a while but mosty lurk but love your writing muchly!

  60. wideeyedinnocent says:

    looks like I missed the deadline (not crying about that over here!)
    I have been reading your posts here and on fet for a year-ish.
    I find myself typing your name into the search bar pretty frequently, because your writing is so raw, honest, and humorous that I want to see what is new.
    I’ve thought of sending a friend request, but I didn’t because I didn’t want to be “that guy”

  61. Liquidrote says:

    Another post after-the-fact. Doesn’t matter though, you reached out to us lurkers so you get a response.

    Been reading your blog for a long time. I like to come here because it’s always great to read about someone in the lifestyle balancing it with real life, which you do wonderfully.

Leave a Reply