You turkey!
Okay guys. Hold on to your panties because I’m about to blow your minds with the most delicious turkey boob recipe EVAR. Moist, flavorful, tender, moist, flav-… nevermind. You get me.
It’s hella difficult but don’t give up! I know you can do this. 10 steps. If you’ve mastered the kitchen like I have, you’ll have no trouble.
First: Go buy you a turkey breast.
Second: Open it and rinse it and take out the little bag of wtf-is-that? and throw it away. Or do whatever it is one is supposed to do with it. I don’t care. ~flaps hand~
Third: Take out your slow cooker and either toss a couple of pats of butter in the bottom or spray it with some cooking spray.
Fourth: Put your turkey boob in. I do mine breast side down, but I don’t know if that’s a law necessarily.
Fifth: Open an envelope of dry onion soup mix (or make your own spice concoction) and sprinkle it over your boob.
The turkey boob. Not yours, pervert. Gawd… can’t take you people anywhere…
Sixth: Put the lid on the crock pot, turn it on low and let that baby cook all day long. Go spend your time lounging on the couch, reading Fetlife and Facebook and snarking on blogs doing Very Important and Meaningful slave’s work.
Seventh: Serve. Nuke up a sweet potato and have a mini-Thanksgiving celebration. Or make a turkey sandwich. Or have a turkey-salad-on-lettuce roll up. Or just have a plate of turkey. I’ve done all of them. No shame.
Eighth: Just try and stop eating it. I dare ya.
Ninth: Do not care if the rest of the household has declared turkey to be “gross” and serve it for dinner every night for a week. What? I’m not running Cafe Mom here! Hmmph. Ungrateful spawn.
Tenth: Come back and lavish me with praise. No, no, don’t hurry. I’ll wait. I’ll just be over here doing my Very Important and Meaningful slave’s work.
Uncategorized | kaya | 
April 13, 2012 4:00 am
Thanks Kaya, sounds oh so easy and delicious. All day… what? about 8 hours?
Happy Friday the 13th!
Joyce
Yeah, give or take, depending on the size of the boob and the function of the crockpot. My slow cooker is super-duper slow and cooks at a real low temp, so I actually had mine on high for about 8 hours. In a cooker that works like it’s supposed to, that would likely overcook it. The recipe reviews on the site I got it from were almost all 8 hours on low.
Thanks…and sending lots of praise for such a great recipe! PRAISE!
Joyce
Sounds YUMMMYYY!!! I like to do the same thing with brisket and use a lot of chopped up garlic on top. Roasting peppers right now in the oven, they will be part of a nice salad along with broiled stuffed portabello’s and pecans in a honey balsamic dressing. Mistresses favorite lunch and pretty easy to prep in the morning. I just put the peppers in a minute ago and am enjoying posting this. I love your blog kaya!!
So quick question… how does one convince a Master that a slow cooker is not “just one more kitchen gadget”? Le Sigh…
Tell him you’re going to astound him with the best tasting turkey boob EVAR! -nods-
A crockpot can cook every course except salad (and if you have a cooked salad it could probably do that too).
Appetizer: fondue (this is low-hanging fruit but it’s obligatory to mention it)
Soup: Any soup.
Main: Kaya’s turkey boob, or any of a million others.
Dessert: http://busycooks.about.com/od/cakerecipes/r/cpchocapplecake.htm and many more.
It’s not a gadget. It’s a wet-heat oven to complement what you do in your dry-heat oven!
Fresh or frozen? I’m guessing frozen since I don’t know many places selling fresh except for Thanksgiving and Christmas…..
I thawed mine in the fridge first. I guess I missed that step in the directions.
I was kind of thinking this was going to be turkey meat shaped like a boob. I’m both relieved and disappointed.
haha. Like chicken nuggets, only turkey tits?
yes, exactly.. I thought it was going to be titty shaped appetizers made of turkey. I was going to take them a MAsT meeting or something lol
This totally works, I’ve done it many times and you don’t even have to spray the bottom first or add any soup mix, just throw it in there nekkid, YUMMY NOMMERS! I cook mine on low for five hours or so and it’s moist and juicy!
I find fresh turkey breasts in the meat section where the fresh chicken breasts are. Foster Farms is the brand name here, don’t know if they sell poultry outside CA.
The very first time I tried this, I added nothing- just nekked turkey tit like you said, and it was awful. Dry and inedible. I was most bummed. However, I also probably overcooked it because I have frequent kitchen failures of that nature, so I decided to give it another go. Perfection!
Most of the stuff I’ve done in the crockpot has involved some kinda liquid. There’s no liquid for this? Just checking.
I’m assuming it’s for a turkey breast with the skin on because there’s so much fat in turkey skin… I can’t figure out how this would work with a skinless breast. Kaya help!
Yes, skin on. At least, that’s how I did mine and then I took it off before eating because skin = major ew.
Nope, no liquid! It makes plenty all by its own boobie-magic!
One more question for the stack – are we talking the entire envelope of onion soup mix, or just a little bitty sprinkling, just enough to know it’s there?
I did the whole envelope, but I bet you wouldn’t have to.
I love you Kaya! Thank you for writing this blog for all of us to enjoy. You are brilliant. I hope you got all your important slave duties done.
Darnit kaya! Now I want turkey boob! And I am the only one who’s gonna eat it as the man is vegetarian.
I need more meat eating friends around…
Turkey boob your too funny! Want to know which cookbook I sent you had that used that word, to describe a turkey breast??????
I make the same recipe with a sirloin roast and the onion soup mix . . . delish!
I’ve been meaning to try it with a pork loin someday, but if I crockpot pork loin it’s pretty hard not to want some good BBQ sauce w/ it . . .
i have a similar recipe for chicken (whole) done in the oven at 250* for…6 or 7 hours..there’s a spice recipe that goes with it.
I’ve not made it in years since my wife went Vegetarian (in the most mean-hearted way towards those of us who still *like* meat…namely me)…but the smell of it as it got to hour 4 or 5…incredible.
So tender.
omg. I might have to make some of that again.
Thanksfor the super-easy idea…and …it won’t heat up the kitchen so I could do it in the summer when wife is away…
nilla
I’m going to try your turkey boob recipe this summer when I go to the cape (Cape Cod, MA) for a week. We always cook and this sounds delish.
- Don