Rambling Man, er.. Girl. Slave. Cunt!

I have nothing in particular to talk about (though I feel a rant coming on!) but I have lots of little things to yak endlessly about.

First, I want to thank all of you so much for the comments on the diet entry. All that information is awesome. And most all of you supported what the others said so I don’t even have much conflicting information to confuse myself with. I’m readjusting my workout schedule, dropping body pump down to 3 times a week, pilates 2 times and adding in a 3 time a week cardio/aerobics class. Then I’m cutting way back on the treadmill junk. I feel a lot less overworked already.

The food/nutrition stuff is a tad daunting for someone who has never really paid any attention to food labels. As soon as I find something that is low cal/low fat/low sugar, the sodium is astronomical. And if the sodium is low, the sugars are high or something. It’s no wonder people pay the money for something like Jenny Craig, and no wonder they gain it all back when they stop that delivery. I know I’ll get it all down eventually but in the meantime I only feel safe eating a celery stick!

What’s the nutritional verdict on Special K’s Protein Plus cereal? Cuz I really like it.

Frustrated as I am with it, I’m not giving up. :)

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So I haven’t talked about Babygirl in awhile. She’s 8 1/2 months old already. Can you believe it? It seems like I was still talking about Jes’s pregnany belly just last month! Babygirl is doing great. She’s crawling like a pro, and is pulling herself up to stand and walking around furniture. She’s into everything. I had the cat dishes blocked off with a chair that I laid down, but she’s figure out how to go around or climb through the legs so I need to figure out something else. I need to put childlocks on the cupboards that I don’t want her in because that’s just hella fun, yanking everything out of there.

Her favorite thing to do is to take this cat toy that we have and wave it around for the cats to play with. She just thinks it’s HILARIOUS to watch them try and get it while she yanks it away. It keeps them all busy so win-win for grandma! The cats are pretty gentle with her. She’s gotten a couple of scratches, but she crawls all over them and they don’t even care. Dracula really seems taken with her and stays somewhat close to her most of the time. The other two only come around when she’s waving that toy.

She does a lot of babbling and screeching, clapping her hands and hollering to make sure she stays the center of attention at all times. She really dislikes being ignored and between her and the gym and the rest of my chores, internet time can be pretty scarce.

Most days I wouldn’t change it for the world. Other days, she exhausts me beyond all reason. She is never still. Ever.

You’d think, seeings as how she’s not my baby, I wouldn’t be so tired, right? Sadly, not so much. Jes is… she’s struggling. A lot. The reality of it hit her pretty hard and she crumbled. I kinda figured it was coming, she’s very much got her head in the clouds (or stuck in the sand, whatever) and doesn’t like to think about the hard stuff. Unfortunately, Babygirl is nothing but hard stuff really and she’s flaking out on us.

It’s difficult because I don’t really know how best to handle the situation. She at least had the balls to come to me and say, look, I can’t handle this and I don’t want to take it out on her, so what should I do? Other people who can’t admit that end up with hurt babies.

It hurts me a lot to see her fail in this. I’m hopeful it’s a temporary stall. So I am stepping in and taking on a lot of Babygirl’s care to relieve some of the pressure so she has a minute to get herself together. I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do, but it’s the only thing I know to do. I’m not taking any moves toward guardianship as of yet, though talk did turn that way. I don’t want it to get that drastic, neither does Master- though we’d do it in a heartbeat. Even though the parenting finish line is a short 3 years away, we’d sign on for 18 more if we had to. There is not a chance that either he or I would let Babygirl go to foster care, if it came to that. He’s as in love with her as I am.

But that’s worst case scenario anyway. I’m not losing faith in Jes, I know she has it in her to do this and do it right. She just needs a boost right now. Anyway, I’ve given her a month as a time limit to lessen the worry of the baby and to get her education/employment straightened out and if there isn’t a significant step in the right direction, we’ll see where her thoughts are about custody, etc.

So I’m definitely more in role of mom than grandma and it’s a very confusing and stressful place to be.

It all trickles down to everything else, too. It’s certainly affecting the time and energy I have for service. The housework isn’t really up to par and I’m only getting done what is important to him. Master’s understanding though, he’s seen this child in action.

Anyway, she’s been clawing at the laptop keyboard and I’m backspacing more than I’m typing so even though I wasn’t finished here, I’m finished here..lol. Y’all have a good one. :)

ps. I have another 2 or 3 March questions and that’s all of them, unless I missed one somewhere!

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