Orgasm Fail

The normal orgasmic sequence:

1. The Count Down.

When orgasm is imminent. Breathing slows (or speeds up), muscles tense, back arches. All systems are go.

2. Direct Hit

Toes curl, eyes roll, gutteral noises, entire body is awash in the most pleasurable sensations known to man.

3. Lift Off

As in, get OFF. Stop touching. Raw nerves, jangling overload.

So. You know what happens when Step Number Two is skipped? I’ll tell you what happens.

Big. Fat. Orgasm. Fail.

That’s happened to me twice now. With the Hitachi.

I feel so cheated.

Hitachi = Garbage can if it happens one more time. I swear to God.

You know what it’s like? It’s like getting permission for that Ooey-Gooey Chocolate Cake. Slicing it up. Putting it on the plate in front of you. Smelling it.

And then gaining 5 pounds without getting to eat it!

Disgruntled. I has some.

~cunt

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