Recently I got a little snippy with Master and while it was more pms-fueled than anything else, it has left me wondering about something.
What happened was, for a couple of nights in a row, he told me it was time to go to bed.
Which, you know, whatever. He gets to tell me what to do, right?
Except, on that third night I stood there with my hands on my hips (“bitch wings” those are called, btw) and snapped that I am perfectly capable of telling time and that I hadn’t come into this (“this” being an M/s relationship) to get a new Daddy to tell me what time to go to bed.
That I already have a Dad. And that I’m far too old to have a bedtime.
Now, he’s been telling me when to go to bed for years, so this isn’t a new quirk of his. Why I suddenly balked at being treated like a child, or why I suddenly SAW it as being treated like a child as opposed to being controlled, I have no idea.
Pms makes a handy scapegoat, but if it were only pms, the irritation over it would have faded the minute I started to bleed. It hasn’t though.
Well, I’m not irritated anymore so much as I’m questioning what IS the difference, or is there one at all, between repeating my childhood with it’s various rules and restrictions, and submission in a bdsm sense? Have I merely found myself a new parental figure?
Is becoming a slave synoymous with being childlike?
When do rules become less Master-slave oriented and more parent-child? Or is it simply a matter of perspective?
For whatever reason, though I’m no less interested and dedicated to being a slave and obeying rules, I’m bristling at being treated like a child, and yet, I’m not able to put my finger on the difference.
When it changed. Why it changed. HAS it changed.
Maybe I’ve changed.
Maybe nothing changed and I just had a bad day.
Maybe it’s just that so much of what we do anymore is service oriented that control is stifling. It chafed me.
I dunno. What do you all think? Does it feel childlike to you to have rules to follow, especially rules that mirror your typical parent-child rules? Would you balk at a bedtime?