Logic and Reason

There is logic and reason to the bedtime.

As I said yesterday, bedtime is not a new thing. It’s been standard operating procedure since we’ve been together. When he goes to bed, I go to bed. And it has a purpose even.

Bedtime, the time when HE goes to bed, is when he is most likely to require service. From foot rubs to back massages to sucking dick to fucking to being the go-n-gimme-cunt. (As in “Go and gimme a glass of water, cunt” or “Go and gimme something to eat, cunt.”)

So it’s not purposeless, not “for my health”, not “because he can” (entirely anyway). It’s because 99% of the time, he has a use for me.

And 99% of the time, I don’t even hesitate, or think anything of it. I just follow him to the bedroom.

He’s also not mean or unreasonable about it. Sometimes he’s really tired and wants to crawl into bed at Early o’clock, at which point I still follow him to the bedroom and wait around long enough for him to decide if he wants or needs anything and then he’ll dismiss me back to my other duties.

Other times, if he’s feeling generous and there’s a tv show on that I like to watch that runs late, he’ll tell me I can stay up and finish watching it. Other times, he tells me to DVR it and get my ass to bed.

It’s never been a problem before. Ever. Like.. ever.

Sometimes I’ll drag my feet a little bit and whine that I’m not tired but he simply tells me to shut up and read a book then.

It’s seriously just not been anything that’s gotten under my skin to the point that it did the other day. It’s never been anything that’s made me feel like an incompetent child.

I am going to chalk it up to a combination of hormones, stress and the fact that there hasn’t been hands on control and I just reacted to the order. Intellectual whiplash sounds good. *nods*

So last night, he goes to the bedroom and I follow him and he turns around and nonchalantly says “You don’t have to go to bed if you don’t want to.”

And I damn near start to cry. I know what he’s doing. Reverse psychology is the oldest trick in the book!

Because it works.

Of course I want him to want me in bed with him. I want him to need me, to use me.

How does it feel to think I’m NOT needed for service?

Sucks, dude. Sucks rotten eggs.

So I sucked his dick extra special good to make up for being a stoopid brat. :)

I’m no less… confuzzled on the whole child vs. slave conundrum. But maybe it’s just going to be that if I’m in a relationship that involves rules and punishment and not just service or expectations, then at times I’m going to feel like a child.

Because it does mimic parenting. But that does not make me a child. I’m gonna have to rectify this in my head.

It’s weird though, to be out in the living room being the parent and enforcing rules to the kids and then stepping into that other world where I have to check the authority figure at the door because *my* authority figure is sitting on the bed, tapping his foot, ready to lay down HIS rules on my ass.

Anyway. Enough about that for now.

This week is *crazy* for appointments. Yesterday, Master had an eye doctor appt. Today, Am has a doctors appt. this morning and The Boy has a dentist appt. this afternoon. I have a doctors appt. tomorrow, Jes had a doctor’s appt. on Friday and I *think* Am has an orthodontist appt. sometime this week, too. I should go look that up before I miss it.

So. Yeah. Thank the powers that be for decent health insurance. Jeebus.

Am’s teeth are really looking good. None of us have perfectly straight teeth but Am’s were truly bad. She had one of those smiles where it was the first thing you noticed and the first thing you thought was “Wow. She should get those fixed.” So, even though it’s been uber-expensive (and ask me sometime about the incompetent dentist in Wis. who bilked us out of a thousand dollars. Grr!) I don’t regret a penny of it. (Except for that grand! Grrs!)

I fully expect that she’ll get them taken off soon. Her top teeth are nice and straight and there’s just the tiniest little gap left to close from where they had to pull a tooth on the bottom. So worth it for her self-esteem. I wish I’d have gotten braces when I was kid. It’s not anything I’d ever do now, as an adult, and my smile is always something I’m self-conscious about because of a crooked tooth. So, yeah, I’m glad for her. She needed it so bad.

~~*~~

No baby yet, obviously. I keep telling Jes to do jumping jacks or something so we can get the show on the road, but she’s not listening. *shrug*

And, don’t tell anyone I told you this, but Master is getting excited/giddy. I knew he would. He is so going to fall hard for this kid.

~~*~~

I am so not amused by the Michael Jackson jokes.

Unfortunately, Master and the kids are hella amused so I’m subjected to them several times a day.

I loved him. He was my first (and only!) celebrity crush.

I wonder if my Thriller album will be worth anything now? It’s the original album, bought when it was first released, when I was but a wee teenager and it’s in mint condition!

Offers? ;-)

Kidding. Y’all ain’t getting it. I spent too much time kissing that middle fold out pic.

~~*~~

I’m off to get chores done before the running starts.

I wonder, since we’re going with the whole parent/child thing, if I can put in for getting an allowance for doing chores. :P

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