Comfort Zone

Moms will get this:

You know when your sweet little one is nagging at you? Like, they’re standing there tugging at your sleeve or tapping your arm and going “Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom. Mom. Mom? Mom. MOM!”

And you don’t hear them? Or feel them.

It’s like we become immune to interference when we’re trying to do something. It’s a survival skill! A finely honed talent. An admirable ability.

But. If I could offer a little tidbit of advice from the kaya files?

Don’t do that to The Boss Man.

Not a good idea.

I was engrossed in *cough*Fetlife*cough* and didn’t hear him or feel the glass that he was tapping on my elbow.

A biff upside the head though? That’s an attention-getter, let me tell ya!

;-)

Master was home sick the last two days so now the house is a mess.

What? That doesn’t make sense? Sure it does!

I don’t clean when he’s home. I can’t.

I follow him around like a needy puppy. I’ll wander away from him for a minute or two but eventually I just kind of.. drift back to him. If he would only walk with me as I clean, I’d not have this mess!

Completely his fault.

The first day that he stayed home, I’d made prior plans to go help a friend (The Squirter) with some stuff. He would have let me go, but… it just doesn’t feel right. I should be here to fetch kleenex and stuff, right?

Maybe I’m too clingy. I…. hover.

He says it’s just the way he wants it though. It’s one thing for him to say “cunt, you’re staying right here by my side.” and have me obey.

It’s another thing entirely to have me to the point where there is nowhere else I can comfortably be. Nowhere else that feels right. When we’re in separate rooms there’s a nagging sense of something missing. I get nervous, edgy. That same feeling you get when you leave for vacation and you can’t remember if you shut the iron off.

That feeling goes away the second he’s back in sight, within touch.

I don’t feel that way when he goes to work and I’m at home. I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

That feeling is multiplied by a million if I leave the house without him. Getting groceries when he elects to stay home is a nightmare. My stomach churns, my hands tremble, I can’t think. Without a list, I’d stand in the aisles like a dumbass. I’ve done it before.

The longer it takes me to get the errands run, the worse I get. I’m practically pissing my pants in angst by the time I get in the door.

Some of it is fear, too. I know that. He can be strict, you know? He’s been known to get on my case if I’ve been gone longer than he thinks it should have taken, or gone somewhere that wasn’t where he thought I should go.

So, yeah. Right by his side is my comfort zone.

Now if only I could keep my attention in the same place my body is at, eh? There’d be a lot less head biffing going on. ;-)

~cunt

P.S. I have to send a huge Thank You! to luna for the new layout. It’s gorgeous, isn’t it? Now I just need a new header. I wanna lose the quote and just have Under His Hand, and lose my ugly mug. I told Master we’ll have to mess around with taking some pictures.

Anyway, thank you so much Luna!

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