“Only me and God have all the facts about myself…”
- But you can have seven.
Chloe and Lexi tagged me so here goes:
Rules:
1. Link to your original tagger and list these rules in your post
2. Share 7 facts about yourself in the post
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post, leave their names & links to their blogs
4. Let them know they’ve been tagged
1. When I was a young teen, like that awkward age of 14/15 when you’re trying to fit in as a freshman in high school, I had the summer job of detassling corn- the worst job ever, I might add- along with 90% of the rest of my fellow high schooler’s. (We lived in corn country. We ALL detassled.)
One particular stretch of days in July brought high temps and high humidity and people were “dropping like flies” (to quote the crew leader on that day) from heat exhaustion. One of those “flies” was me.
I semi-fainted in the middle of the corn field and was scooped up and hauled out by the high school football star. Not only did my shirt ride up as he carried me, revealing my ugly sweat stained support bra and half of one tit, he laid me down in the ditch in front of *everybody*, bare tit and all, where a cricket hopped right into my mouth. So I promptly rolled over and puked down his shirt- essence of cricket and orange gatorade.
He was the gorgeous senior class football hero. I was the geeky, pimpled, glasses-wearing loser freshman.
It was the single most mortifying experience of all of my high school years.
(Years and years later, when my kids were smaller, I ran into him again when he signed on to be my kid’s T-ball coach. He was about 60lbs overweight and balding. I was still a bar-hopping hottie. Silly as it is, I felt better.)
(He remembered me. I was mortified all over again.)
(That wasn’t a fact so much as a memory but whatever. It’s my blog and I can do what I want! 
)
2. I am afraid of the dark. When Master is away, I leave the bedroom light on. And I hop onto the bed from a few feet away because the under-the-bed boogey man might grab my feets.
But all monsters are gone when he is home. 
3. I’m a fast reader. Probably not a speed reader, but close. I don’t read like I used to though. I’m less enamored with fantasy I think.
4. I came very very close to falling over the edge into alcoholism. Almost everyone else in my family IS an alcoholic and they have serious life-affecting problems due to drinking. When I was in my early 20′s, I drank like they do and I found comfort in being drunk. I had a drunk driving charge when I was 21. Entire bottles of liquor to myself, puking blood, going to work still drunk/hungover, losing jobs because I couldn’t go to work, too sick to take care of my kids.. etc. etc.
There was one night sitting in a bar with my friends, talking with one friend very matter of factly about “if I go home with that guy (whom I didn’t know), will you pick me up in the morning and take me home?” and I thought to myself “this just isnt fun anymore. I’m better than this.”
I didn’t quit just like that, but I started cutting back and watching other people (family, friends) getting drunk more than joining them- and I realized how fucking stupid they are. Soon enough I wasn’t drinking at all, found some stability in my job and in my life, enjoyed my kids more.
I think I could have gone to the other side pretty easily though. I think I may have already been there.
5. I love romantic comedies. They make me cry. Like, bawl-cry, but happy tears. I couldn’t wacth them before Master though. I was so miserable in my private life that to watch other people, even actors in a fake setting, being so happy made me angry. Now, I’m on a “twat twitcher” movie kick. I want to watch all of them because, for a change, I can identify with the feelings. I walk away from watching those movies feeling lucky and happy and very much in love with mah man.
6. I carry a stupid amount of pride for having gone through two natural childbirths without so much as a Tylenol, by my choice. And not a single scream. I know, it’s silly and it proves nothing, except, yes it does! I am woman, hear me roar! Check out my massive pain tolerance. I can shove a watermelon out of my vagina with nary a tear. Grrs!
With the third though, I was just tired. So I opted for an epidural and, omg, it was heavenly. There was no pain whatsoever. In fact, I was actually birthing him (head crowning) while chit chatting idly with my mother when the nurse came in to do a check. She squealed and ran out to find a doctor. “Your baby is coming!” Hee.
But then I had my tubes tied right after and I came out of the anesthesia crying. That fucking hurt. Boo.
7. For years and years I resented that my parents were too poor to afford to let me join band and learn how to play an instrument. I love music and was terribly jealous of my friends when they carried around their instrument cases and when they had to practice at home. I can’t read music or play anything now and I consider that to be a tragedy. I always wanted to learn how to play the piano. ~wistful sigh~
So that two of my three kids can play instruments makes me insanely happy. Jes is moderately decent on the flute and B-man is picking up the guitar pretty quickly. Am started the violin several years ago but lost interest in a short time. (What she should do is sing but she’s too shy. She’d be good though.)
I’m tagging:
1. You.
2. Yes you.
3. You! The one reading this right now.
4. And you over there in the corner!
5. Oh, yes, you guessed it. You!
6. You too.
7. No I don’t care if you’re shy or don’t have a blog. I’m tagging you anyway! Deal!
Do eeeet!
Tags: meme
Uncategorized | kaya | 
May 18, 2009 8:30 am
Kaya,
Well, now you did it. You tagged me and I don’t even have a blog. I guess I’ll have to do it here. I’ll try to avoid the seven strange things from earlier.
1: I was recently in the hospital for congestive heart failure. I didn’t have a heart attack, as my arteries are nice and clear. My heart just won’t do what it’s supposed to, only pumping 1/3 of the volume it’s supposed to. Apparently I was suffering from it since last September and didn’t know it. It took three hours of chest pain to light the light bulb. I am improving. Nice thing about CHF is that it can be treated with meds (better living through chemistry).
2: I’m six foot three inches and weigh about 325 pounds (trying to lose some)
3: I’m afraid of hieghts and bees. While it’s better these days, I could literally freeze on a bridge if I made the mistake of looking over the edge. And to think I worked in a multi-story parking garage for 19 years.
4: My favorite veggies are corn, broccoli and Brussels sprouts, as long as they’re cooked. I can’t stand raw veggies except for carrots, which I can’t stand cooked.
5: I have a k-8 teaching certificate in WA state, and teach math at the college level. You’d be surprised how well learning to teahc little kids prepares one to teach adults ni college.
6: I’m a cat person and have an adorable kitty named Lilly. I used to have as many as six cats. That’s how I got into the habit of using two cans of tuna in a tuna helper; I had to have enough to share with all six taste testers (I also bought eight piece fried chickens so I’d have four to myself).
7: I’ve been writing erotica for about 2 1/2 years now, even though I have no formal writing training. Yes, that’s my ad in the green and you can find my ebooks there. Just look under my name.
Okay, since I used the last one as a shameless plug, I’ll give you one more for free. I’m a voracious reader and can devour a standard novel in about 5 hours reading time. Unfortunately, I’m busy enough these days that I only read on the bus.
Dave
Thank you Dave!
OHNOES I will does it. -weeps!-
You better! I’m watching!
Well, geez… I’m too shy AND I don’t have a blog, so I have been doubly targeted. It’s like Kaya was pointing at muh face. *Sigh.*
1. I’m 25, but have the maturity of a five-year-old at times: I am hopelessly addicted to Animal Crossing, I love to get the Happy Meal at McDonald’s, and my favorite place ever is Disney World.
2. I’ve been putting off applying to master’s programs because I’m paranoid that I won’t get in–grades, writing samples, and experience are all beside the point in this fear.
3. I actually love cooking, and I have come up with unique and tasty creations in the kitchen to the point where everyone says I should take a cooking class, but I think I would either be terrible at it, or that would take all the fun out of it.
4. I’m estranged from my Dad, but | | this close to my Mom, which is awkward because they’re still together.
5. Also a fast reader, I’m spending this summer diving into biographies. ‘What Fresh Hell Is This’ about Dorothy Parker is the current one, and ‘Editor of Genius’ about Max Perkins will be next. I have no idea which ones after that, so suggestions are welcome!
6. I have always wanted to start a public blog, but I don’t think I could focus on one topic/come at it from one angle, so I’ve been afraid I wouldn’t have any readers. I have kept a private blog for six years.
7. This one’s open. Kaya can ask me ANY question here, and I’ll answer it! (See? I can be brave-ish….)
Instead of a question, I’m going to challenge your brave-ishness and double dawg dare you to do something.
Start a blog.
Just try it. For… 2 months. At least.
Mayhaps it’ll be a big hit. Maybe it won’t. But you’ll never know unless you try! (how Mom-ish do I sound?!)
Dare ya. You give me the link and see what happens.
“I have always wanted to start a public blog, but I don’t think I could focus on one topic/come at it from one angle, so I’ve been afraid I wouldn’t have any readers. I have kept a private blog for six years.”
Go back and read kaya’s blog titles for the last several months. Focusing on one topic from one angle is not what she does and she gets read, often.
I’ve seen a couple different attributions but regardless of who’s quote it is, I think its true. “There’s nothing hard about writing. Just go into a room and open a vein.”
I don’t have a problem with writing… that’s what I do by profession. I think that’s all the more reason why I would be disconcerted if people didn’t read my blog–something they could read for free–which is much more personal than the pieces of writing they are willing to buy.
If that makes sense. Lol
You’re evil.
And… hmmm… thinking about accepting this dare. Will get back to you shortly.
Do you really think people would read a blog about various topics without one common thread?
yes meg. people will read it simply for its freshness. I would!
I know so.
Like Dr_B said, exactly what common thread runs in mine? lol
Honestly, Meg, trust me on this. Give it a try.
1. american living abroad…love you blog reminds me of how deliciously decadent we are!
2. almost died of CHF dweaver99 – you are right better living thru chemistry..was also out of the states when that happened…believe it or not..”your fucked” translates in just about any language..but it also makes you dig deep within, and fight.
3. avid/voracious reader – if it is in book form i read it.
4. self employed – satisfies my creative streak.
5. love to cook..am a domestic god-dess! a little ocd on the cleaning thing….
6. dog person – the most noble creatures on the face of the earth.
7. non comformist..don’t even try to box me into any pre-conceived ideas whether it is about politics or sex!
K – here goes?
1 – I want to travel the world. I want to travel round the rest of Europe first of all. I’m going to Paris this year and then Iceland and Rome. woo hoo
2 – I hate bats. yuk yuk yuk yuk and double yuk. They are furry and they fly. yuk yuk yuk and yuk again.
3 – I’m always on a diet, need to lose at least 100 lbs. Thinking of starting a blog about it actually but thats another matter for another day.
4 – I like dominant men. I don’t want a horrible man just one that can keep me in line when needs be. You know what I mean?
5 – I’m in love with Colin Firth. I mean actually sure he’s going to leave his wife for me in love with him. Dreamer? Me? Nope.
6 – I only like cheese if it’s melted.
7 – My favourite person in the world is my grandpa.
If you managed to stay awake long enough to get to the end of that list thankyou. x
1. I only have one kidney. The kidney on my left side was removed at age 2 1/2 because it had enough fluid inside of it to fill a football (twas a blocked duct)
2. I’m going to Ireland for two weeks this August, which is so huge for me. I’ve never been to a foreign country (as I don’t think Canada really counts. You didn’t need a passport when I went). And I’ve been dreaming of going to Ireland since I was a wee little kid.
3. My sister is giving birth to a baby in July. And as horrible as it sounds, I’m not excited.
4. I tell my boyfriend exactly how much sex we will have in one weekend. He appreciates the *heads* up.
5. If Alyson Hannigan (actress) propositioned me for sex, I’d drop everything and go. Nick is aware of this and as long as I take pictures, it’s fine. (I also know that the probability of this happening is about 1 in 100000000000000000000000000).
6. I’m a feminist who likes being tied up and spanked. And I believe I have that right because to me, feminism is about the right to choose how you want to live.
7. I hate eggs. I think they’re gross. Don’t mind them in stuff (i.e. cookies and brownies) but on their own…ew…that came out of a chicken’s butt.
I love that you added she is giving birth ‘to a baby.’ Lol
no blog, so i guess i’ll just tack it on here…
1)i live alone on the opposite side of the world to my entire family. believe it or not, it has actually aided our communication!
2)i had similar *issues* with alcohol to you, kaya, and have now been sober for 3 years and drug-free for 5 years. being sober is the thing in my life i am most proud of.
3)i recently started dating a man who has never had an alcoholic drink in his life…a VERY rare beast in this country!
4)i like bats because to me they look like mice in fetish wear hehehehe – all that leathery-ness
5)my ideal co-habitation-with-a-partner scenario would be 10 acres of forest with 2 houses – his and mine. we could choose every night whose place to sleep at, and not have to argue about garbage and toilet seats so much
6)my childhood dream was to be a neuro-psychologist.
7)serving on my knees is in my job description. for realz.
You make me smile. And giggle. And grin.
i wish we were neighbors sometimes. i could use one of those in-person types of chuckles.
Thanks for this entertaining story-post.
(and to everyone elses i read too…)
I have a blog, but I think I already did something like this on there. However, I will do my seven here.
1. When I was applying for a resident visa in Sweden, I missed the first appointment because I hgot the wrong directions at the Metro’s website. I guess WMATA never got the memo that the embassy moved from the location ten years ago.
2. I have always been soothed by the way some people talk. I can’t describe how…but I think it depends on factors like the dialect, accent, how loud or soft they talk, and how they pronounce certain letters like p. I mostly prefer to listen to people that come from another country (I have found I prefer to listen to people talk in Swedish since it’s very soothing imo).
3. My Significant Other is eleven years older than me. He was born in 1971 and I was born in 1982.
4. I love these three spicey things: buffalo sauce, jalopenos, and the mild sauce packets from Taco Bell.
5. I have had a pet camellean (sp?) before. My parents caught him while they were helping my grandma move to North Carolina twenty years ago and we kept him in an tank. He lived with us for three years before he died.
6. I’ve swam seventy-two laps before, which remains the most laps I ever swam in a day. I was eighteen years old, and I did it to see what it was like to swim a mile. I don’t plan to do this in a future again due to it made me super tired (I fell asleep in class..was in college by then) and made my eyes tear every time I opened them (had goggles, but they were useless).
7. Considering my brother and I are only eighteen months apart, we both have had crushes, gone out, or done stuff with each other’s friends. One friend of his is an ex boyfriend of mine, I did stuff with another (who happends to be my best friend too), and I had a crush on one. All of my best friends, current and old, have had a crush on him at one point during their friendship with me. As far as I know, he’s only done stuff with one of my best friends.
Ok, Kaya, I obeyed