This thread makes me sad. (you’ll need a fetlife account but you don’t have to be a member of that group to read it.)
In summary, it’s a bunch of (mostly) single gals who are looking for a dom bitching about the “wannabes” and the “trolls” who approach them on bdsm dating sites. They’re quite gleeful about this man-bashing they’re doing, seem really proud of themselves about it.
I dunno, call me crazy, but wouldn’t it behoove you in your searches for a dom if you actually acted like a submissive? And, golly, why is it wrong again for a dom to behave dominantly?
Seems like a no-win situation for a single dom. If he makes the approach too aggressively (read:in a dominant manner) then he’s a troll, and if he makes the approach too passively, he’s a wannabe poser.
Master and I met online. I was just as ‘spirited’ (cough) then as I am now. I was also submissive. I can imagine if my reply to His first dominant personality quirk had been something along the lines of calling Him a name, telling Him that “submissive does not equal doormat!”, or to ‘put Him in His place’, then we’d have gone no further in our relationship than that moment.
Sometimes I suspect that some “submissives” join these sites merely for the purpose of collecting man-bashing material. So they can giggle with their subbie-sisters and hold up the *proof* of why they are still single. “See?! It’s not that nobody wants me! Just look at what I have to choose from! Look at these losers. I’m single because I haven’t found anyone worthy of me, NOT because I’m not worthy. So ha! Ha ha! I have proof! He told me to kneel. Stupid wannabe.”
I think if I were a dom in search of a submissive, I would probably give a simple order right off the bat too, purely for the purpose of weeding out the man-bashing wannabe posing as a submissive.
Edited to add: Sadly, Fetlife itself is making me sad in it’s entirety. I’m watching the few people I respect and admire trickling out and I’m not even wondering why. I know why. I think I’m not far behind them.