Under His Hand » 2008 » March

“There’s nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them.”

The last of the March questions. While I don’t regret this month of Q&A, I am glad it’s over! ;)

I know you have that evil stick thing…but do you have one that has a ball on the end? Like here? http://www.swtchr2.com/evil_stick_family_tm.ht

Yes we do. And actually, the ball hurts less than the other one so naturally Master rarely uses it. :/

We see a lot of who you are through your blog but what is your everday life like?

My everyday life is pretty normal. I do normal housewife-type stuff, I wear normal clothes, I do normal yard work. It’s blessedly (and perhaps boringly) normal. I pay a little more attention to the details that I know Master cares about. Like what time dinner is to be on the table, whether I’ve gotten the journal post done (and whether or not it’s of the caliber he expects or has the pictures he wanted posted), if the house is clean.. it’s really not that I do anything differently than someone who isn’t in a power-exchange relationship, only that my motivation and consequences are (probably) different. It’s no longer “is the bathroom clean enough for me?” but “is the bathroom clean enough by Master’s standards?” (which are way higher than mine, I might add). And if something *isn’t* done and done right, the reason of “cuz I didn’t feel like it” doesn’t fly. I have to have a valid reason or face the consequences. I don’t get to have days where I decide I just don’t want to vacuum or don’t want to cook or want to procrastinate the errands. Though he allows me some amount of self-direction on chores and such, it’s within some pre-set parameters. For instance, I can do laundry as I feel like it as long as he never doesn’t have an article of clothing that he wants when he wants it. The first time he doesn’t have a clean towel to grab or a pair of clean spankies, my laundry freedom will be gone.

So I get up, make coffee before I leave, go to work for a couple hours, come home, take the dogs for a walk (at least a mile, generally two, weather allowing), usually get a post done (I’m jonesing for the computer by the time I get home. Srsly.). Then I spend the next 4 or 5 hours cleaning and doing laundry, taking care of the animals. About 3:30 to 4, the kids get home and I start dinner so it’s done by 5:30-ish, which is when Master gets home. I serve (and service him) as needed. We eat dinner together, watch a little tv, about 7-7:30pm the kids start homework and Master usually disappears into the other room while I do that. The kids and I chat over homework and tv until about 9pm when they start their showers and bedtime stuff. I do my own bedtime stuff and head to the bedroom at about 9:30 and do any other servicing that he’s wanting (back rubs, foot massages, blow jobs, sex, etc.) set my alarm for 4-freaking-30 in the morning and go to sleep. The End. Exciting, yeah? ;)

How do you deal with public interaction? Like if I saw you in public, how would you and your Master be acting?

We act like every other couple you see. We laugh, argue, pick at each other. Any of the D/s stuff (and I think that’s what you mean?) is pretty low-key. I don’t think anyone notices it, but maybe they do. He’s pretty good about keeping things subtle, and I don’t act up in public to make it an issue. There are some things, like, I don’t wander away without asking. I don’t eat or drink without asking. I make sure he’s served first. I don’t really know how to answer this. What we do is so habitual now that I just don’t notice it anymore. We’ve recently met several people in public, they could probably answer this question better than I can!

How often do y’all have sex, on average? From what we see here it sounds like every 5 seconds. :-P

lol.. I wish! I’d say it averages once a day. Sometimes we skip a day but then some days we do it 3 or 4 times.

Here lately the make up sex has been phenomenal. I think we’re going to have to schedule in a monthly fight just so we can make up again. :D

Also, I’ve been wondering for awhile, what is your master like? I have a very vivid picture of your personality, obviously, but what kind of person is he? If we were to randomly meet and socialize for a bit, what kind of impression would he leave me with? If you can ever answer that, biased as you are. :)

That’s as hard as the last question! He’s… strong-willed. But polite, too. I’m trying to remember where we were not too long ago. Maybe it was at the play party last weekend? Anyway, I overheard him talking to one of the women there (submissive, had to be because I don’t think there are any dominant women at this particular party) and I heard him say “yes ma’am” a time or two in answer to questions. It just makes me smile to hear that because he’s very secure in his dominance and doesn’t need to blow smoke about it, you know?

I think his first impressions tend to be along the lines of “gee, you aren’t nearly as scary as kaya makes you out to be!”. He’s funny, personable, can talk to anyone about anything at any time. He’s a master of useless trivia about everything. *I* think he comes off as a little pushy, over-zealous, but maybe not. And maybe that’s just part and parcel of having a dominant personality, too. He’s the total opposite of me (I think).

Have you ever refused to do something your master wanted you to? Or is there even anything he’s mentioned that you’d refuse to do?

Oh yes. Sometimes I’ve looked at him like he just grew a second head and told him he was flat out fucking crazy if he thought I’d do that. Sometimes he laughs along with me, other times he cocks that eyebrow, and gives me that low, gravelly, “Now” command and I do it. Or attempt to. Because when that eyebrow goes is not the time to discuss his sanity. At least, not if I want to have any skin left on my body.

Occasionally, those kinds of commands aren’t necessarily things he *wants* me to do so much as he’s testing the depths of my willingness to do it. For instance, he might be sitting on the toilet having just defecated and call me in there, tell me to get on my knees and lick his asshole clean. And, as you can imagine, I balk pretty loudly. Cuz, um, ew. Sometimes he’ll laugh and shut the door and go about his own wiping. Sometimes he’ll snap and point at the floor at his feet and I shut up and get the fuck into position. *Willing* to start licking (gag). So far, when it comes to orders of that nature, he’ll stop before it actually gets to the nitty gritty, sometimes he pushes it far enough that I’m convinced he isn’t going to stop *this time*. Some day, one of these times, he won’t stop. And I know it.

Hm. Maybe that doesn’t exactly qualify as a refusal then.

Um.. I had deciding vote over the kids so there were times when I would refuse to do it his way, but I don’t guess you’re really asking about the kids, huh?

I don’t think I’ve ever not at least tried. Surprisingly, or not, what I balk at the hardest is silly stupid stuff. Like, having to ask a stranger a question. I literally almost bawled at this last party because he was insistent that I ask the host a question and I could not do it. I’m strange that way. Social phobias or some such shit.

Jesus. I am not braining well today. I can’t *think*.

I know you’ve said you’re open with your doctor about your lifestyle. Are you open with all your doctors about your lifestyle? Would you tell a specialist who you saw who didn’t see any marks/have any reason particularly to ask?

No. Absolutely not. I’m only open to my gp because he’s likely to see things or have questions. And, due to insurance changes, I’ve had to change gp’s twice this year so that sucked. But, true to what I’ve always said, neither doctor so much as raised a brow at what I said, or acted shocked, or showed even the slightest hint of disapproval, not even upon viewing the scars on my breasts. But as far as telling someone who didn’t need to know, no. Only if asked, and even then, if it wasn’t pertinent to the job at hand I’d be pretty stingy with my information.

Has you Master ever slipped and called you cunt in front of other people?

Not exactly. He’s started to but he always catches himself. Not that all of the recoveries are very successful, but he does try! He’ll start to say it, realize what he’s saying and who’s listening and go “Cunnnn-uty pie!” Makes me laugh. :D

where did the name Kaya come from?

It evolved from a chat room where I had to register a nick in order to chat. I wanted to have just the letter “k”, which came from that book “The Girl in the Box”. k was her slave name, which was a theory he took from the Story of O. Anyway, the chat room register wouldn’t accept a single letter as a nick so I tried to lengthen it to “kay” but that was already registered so I stuck an ’a’ on the end of it. At the time, I didn’t even know ’kaya’ was a word. It was, to me, a nonsensical collection of letters. The first I heard that it had a meaning was some several months later when I was asked if I was using used kaya to indicate that I’m a pot-smoker. (which I am not, btw. Never have been). Since then though, I have seen and heard it used as a name quite often.

Well I thought I could get through the rest of the questions today but I’m way, way out of time. Tomorrow then. :-)