Now I know my ABC’s…
I can’t do memes so of course this isn’t a meme. I’m just fresh out of journal entry topics so I made this up. Though, yanno, if y’all wanted to do it too, I’d read it.. we just won’t call it a meme.
The ABC’s of our BDSM.
A is for… Ass. Remember those early months of anal angst that I had? Good God you all must have thought I was such a ninny. I’m glad to say that I’ve definitely conquered the anal angst. Though butt sex isn’t something we do every day, it’s certainly nothing that I stress over anymore. And if He walks away with a case of poopy dick? Sucks to be Him, right? 
B is for… BOOBS! Master does like my boobs. Or, I should say Master does like TO HURT my boobs. The vast majority of our video clips have breast torture in them. I’ve always been partial to titty torture myself so it all works out great!
C is for… Cunt. Not the one between my legs, but the name. Master has called me cunt since day one and it’s become as normal sounding as my given name. I know a lot of women hear the term ‘cunt’ and get all sorts of offended. But it wasn’t ever meant to be that, and it’s not an insult to me. It’s a label used to further the objectification, much like some refer to themselves as ‘it’. I am cunt, I am a cunt. That’s my main purpose for Him.
D is for… Dick. Man, I heart me some dick. What else is there to say about that? I like pussy just as much as the next lesbian wannabe, but dick does it for me.
E is for… Enemas. Master and I dabbled in enemas a bit and found it just didn’t do much for us. BUT in the experiments we did find one that appeals to Him something fierce. Pee enemas. Not only does Master like using my ass as His toilet, I get off on the objectification of it quite a bit. However, it’s quite the job for Him to be able to get hard enough to penetrate my ass, while also being un-aroused enough to be able to urinate. So I am currently (like, today current) working on making an ass-friendly funnel just for that purpose. Maybe I’ll sell them on the craft page. 
F is for… Fucking. Obviously! We fuck a lot. More than the average married couple I think. Master’s libido is amazingly healthy. The sexual energy in this house oozes from the damn walls!
G is for… Gags. We have a pretty varied selection of gags. Some cut off all chance of communication, some only hinder it a bit. But all serve to effectively block me from giving input. But they don’t block output. Output He wants, input? Not so much. I’m opinionated and I have very focused ideas on how things “should be”. Given the chance, I’ll speak my mind too much and sometimes, talk Master out of, or into, something different than His initial plan. So He cuts off the input. But the output, the moans and whimpers, grunts and cries… those all flow freely around every gag we own. I much prefer to be gagged because it serves to make ‘letting go’ that much easier. When I’m not gagged, He wants input. Input means keeping my head in the game and being able to answer, coherently, the questions He asks, or providing the feedback He needs. But gagged, I’m released from that “burden” and allowed to float, quietly, serenely. It’s awesome.
H is for… Hood. We have one hood, a full leather one that laces up the back and zips shut across the mouth and eye holes. I love the sensory deprivation that comes with wearing the hood. Sight is gone, hearing is muffled, breathing is restricted. Putting the hood on makes me feel like me is gone… when He looks at me, I don’t feel that He’s seeing ME because what makes up me, my face, is obliterated. And with that I sense a change in His demeanor, as if He sees me as even more of an object, a faceless, nameless, lump of meat. It’s very profound for me.
I is for…Internal Enslavement. Unfortunately, all of the links seem to be down right now, but internal enslavement is the process of “establishing and maintaining a solid and inescapable state of ownership”. I am not here, as His, just because I want to be anymore. I’m here because I can’t NOT be. Call it brainwashing, call it Stockholm syndrome, call it bullshit if you like… but there it is.
J is for… Journal. Without the benefits this journal has given us, I think we probably would not be as far along as we are. I really didn’t know how to communicate effectively with Him on a face to face basis. We struggled with it a lot, trying to find what the appropriate level of free expression was for our relationship, mainly for me and how to talk to Him. He’s intimidating and He has the power and His limits on how I could talk and what I could say made that initial communication difficult for me. But I always had the journal and I was always able to be brutally honest here. Over time, He and I have learned to talk to each other and the journal doesn’t very often fill in as a communication tool anymore. But I still love it, and it still serves a purpose for Him.
K is for… Kinky Krafts! w00t! I love love love making things for Master to hurt me with. I get all sorts of horny while I’m creating. In the middle of doing the funnel today I had to stop and masturbate. tee hee.
L is for… Love. I love Him. I am loved by Him. While there are times when I believe the intense love that we share hinders the progress here, there are more times when I’m convinced that without that love, I never would have survived what progress has been made. I need loving reassurance through this. I need to know that in spite of the many degrading paces He walks me through, I’m still lovable. Without that, I think I’d lose all desire to continue.
M is for… Master, of course! What would I be without Him?
N is for…Nipples. Gah.. my poor nipples. I don’t think I am ever within His reach and He’s not tweaking.. or trying to! Depends on if I can get away fast enough or not!
O is for…Orgasms. What fun would any of this be without orgasms? I am so glad that Master is not a fan of orgasm denial. It’s fun once in awhile.. but as a standard rule I think it would backfire. I hear that a lot, from those who do have constant orgasm denial. They tend to lose it. Makes sense to me, if you abide by the “use it or lose it” theory.
P is for… Pain. I’ve made my peace with being a masochist. I need pain just as I need love and intimacy. I don’t consider myself a huge pain slut, but when I can manage to embrace it and channel it right, there is no better drug out there.
Q is for…Quietude: the state of being quiet; tranquillity; calmness; stillness; quiet. That is a work in progress, helped by use of gags and ropes.
R is for… Rattan Cane. Definitely one of our favorites for striking toys. Even if they do break rather easily.
S is for… Seclusion. Seclusion and isolation play a large part in what we do. Restricting my outside influences dwindles my world down to one person. Master. It’s limited now because of the kids, but we dabble in it as much as we can. It may never be total, but it will be much more than what it is now. Some day I may have to do an entry just on this topic (if I haven’t already).
U is for… Urine. Piss play is a pretty common theme lately. Seems like everyone is doing it! What can I say about it? It’s gross and disgusting and it tastes bad and it smells bad and I fucking love it. Not only am I working on a funnel for my ass, I’m also making a mouth funnel, too. (thanks for the idea, love)
V is for… Violet Wand. That Master wants really badly and I don’t!
W is for… Welts. Or any marks for that matter. I love them. That’s my badge, my reward for ‘taking it like a man’. I get mighty disappointed with myself if I don’t come out of a scene sporting some marks somewhere.
X is for…X-Rated. That’s us in a nutshell. We’re x-rated.
Y is for…Yes Sir. Do you have any idea how many times a day I say ‘yes Sir’. A bazillion! At least!
Z is for… Zippers. Hate them. Yep, just hate ‘em. So why is it that I keep making them????
Uncategorized | kaya | 
October 25, 2007 1:42 pm
Excellent post, kaya. I’m impressed by the depth of your intellect as much as the depth of your submission. Your Master is a lucky man. You are a lucky cunt.
NOW I KNOW MY A, B, C’s
How come I never learned my ABC’s like that? Jeez, I should have had Kaya as a teacher! Oh, I just wanted to ask you did you get my e mail joke about menopause and Tide and Hefty bags? I was just curious to see if it went thru……… Thanks for the lesson!
I is okay
You paniced me when you said the Internal Enslavement site was down.
I love that site.
I have been building my own sperm receptacle slave out of a free-woman I picked up cheap a year and a half ago by using the easy-to-follow instructions on that site. It works great. Trying to train a cunt properly without the info on IE would be like trying to fix a car without a shop manual: you can do it but it is going take longer and be WAY more hassle without the instruction book.
Not to worry. The site seems to be just fine.
http://www.enslavement.org.uk/
Love the blog
Sickman
Great post – you have an amazing mind.
V
I found the violet wand to be a big ol’ let down. It didn’t hurt much at all. See if you can borrow one before taking the leap to purchase. We did & decided to skip it.
Sinnamon
Re: V
I tend to agree with Sinnamon. BUT, there is an attachment you can get that makes the current feel like a knife edge as opposed to just the warmy, tingly feeling of the electricity. And it does hurt if you’re zapped in the right (wrong?) places! Not a very nice feeling. If you can get one cheap I would, just get the right attachment(s).
~magpie
“T” is for torture
I think that your essay on torture is the most perssonally comprehensive I’ve ever read. You are an amazing writer. And you scare the hell out of me, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing
Just amazing.
When I first entered the kink community, I created a sort of alphabet primer for kink, simply showing a term for each letter, illustrated with relevant photos either from our own collection, or, more often, ripped from the web. Wonder if I still have a digital copy somewhere? I’d just do a search for documents containing key words, but do you know how many times the word “dildo” appears on my hard drive?!?
kaya, i’ve been reading your journal for about a month now. i love the way you write, how you write – going through your back entries, i’m just amazed. you are amazing. thanks for letting me in.
anna.
“Y is for…Yes Sir. Do you have any idea how many times a day I say ‘yes Sir’. A bazillion! At least!
”
You don’t need a Master for that. Try having an ex-millitary man as a best friend… ;o)
if you say Yes Sir a baziliin times i would assume your kids must catch this sometimes-not real healthy for them to hear that
OMG
In what way is that not healthy, ASSUMING the children hear it?
I am always very impressed when I hear kids saying yes sir or yes ma’am…those terms are applicable to many situations, not just Ds and/or Ms relationships. It’s a sign of simple respect.
Children hearing this subtle interaction can only learn good manners from it, in my opinion.
~a young but old-fashioned magpie
Re: OMG
Did you get my email?
Re: OMG
I did! It went into my spam so I got it a little later than I would have…I replied to that one, and sent you another just a few minutes ago…
~magpie
Why do you read me when you so obviously take offense at so much of what I have to say? I’m just curious. I tend to not read what doesn’t appeal to me. What’s your story?
I AM NOT YOU AND You ARE NOT ME
WHATS MY STORY?? My story is a just wrote an email to you and now i gotta repeat it because our cables went down-dammit I guess this will be splattered on your LJ-great-well any haters can contact me at majikhnds@hotmail.com or my LJ if its still there. Well, I didn’t actually ‘find” your site -i was talking to a Dom online and he likes looking at pics and showed me your site; but I like to read -so I’ve read quite a few, I liked your candor, your wit and the fact that there were no ads. Its why i was reading. Could i embrace your lifestlye? no way- my mom once said to me you can only fill yourself up with you-plus having an Owner wouldn’t do it for me. I already got a husband. Plus with kids here it wouldn’t be the greatest atmosphere-kids are perceptive and know everything-no matter if there with you or not. Anyway, i did enjoy reading it even though i have no business being here and it showed me a diff lifestyle that i could never embrace-never want to have an owner- the only one i know who has an owner is my dog and even she can function pretty much on a daily basis. unless SOMEONE FORGETS to leave her food-thats another story i don’t want to embrace. I really did enjoy reading you` Thank-U!
Love and piece,
Suzanne
Re: I AM NOT YOU AND You ARE NOT ME
You know what’s interesting here? Look at how offended you got over my simple question, that wasn’t even intended to be offensive, simply curious. Yet.. you seem to expect that I should not also be offended when you repeatedly disagree with me and what I do. That seems a bit of a double standard to me.
I’ve never received an email from you, btw.
The L
The L made me cry. Good tears
Now I know my ABC’s…
Kaya, great post, I always learn so much when I visit you. Thank you.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Alphabut
my Master set me the task of writing a kinky story for every letter of the alphabet.
umm sorry Master, I was only here getting inspiration yes um yes that’s it inspiration a’la kaya. Great post as always kaya.
l(Fh)