I can’t do memes so of course this isn’t a meme. I’m just fresh out of journal entry topics so I made this up. Though, yanno, if y’all wanted to do it too, I’d read it.. we just won’t call it a meme.
The ABC’s of our BDSM.
A is for… Ass. Remember those early months of anal angst that I had? Good God you all must have thought I was such a ninny. I’m glad to say that I’ve definitely conquered the anal angst. Though butt sex isn’t something we do every day, it’s certainly nothing that I stress over anymore. And if He walks away with a case of poopy dick? Sucks to be Him, right?
B is for… BOOBS! Master does like my boobs. Or, I should say Master does like TO HURT my boobs. The vast majority of our video clips have breast torture in them. I’ve always been partial to titty torture myself so it all works out great!
C is for… Cunt. Not the one between my legs, but the name. Master has called me cunt since day one and it’s become as normal sounding as my given name. I know a lot of women hear the term ‘cunt’ and get all sorts of offended. But it wasn’t ever meant to be that, and it’s not an insult to me. It’s a label used to further the objectification, much like some refer to themselves as ‘it’. I am cunt, I am a cunt. That’s my main purpose for Him.
D is for… Dick. Man, I heart me some dick. What else is there to say about that? I like pussy just as much as the next lesbian wannabe, but dick does it for me.
E is for… Enemas. Master and I dabbled in enemas a bit and found it just didn’t do much for us. BUT in the experiments we did find one that appeals to Him something fierce. Pee enemas. Not only does Master like using my ass as His toilet, I get off on the objectification of it quite a bit. However, it’s quite the job for Him to be able to get hard enough to penetrate my ass, while also being un-aroused enough to be able to urinate. So I am currently (like, today current) working on making an ass-friendly funnel just for that purpose. Maybe I’ll sell them on the craft page.
F is for… Fucking. Obviously! We fuck a lot. More than the average married couple I think. Master’s libido is amazingly healthy. The sexual energy in this house oozes from the damn walls!
G is for… Gags. We have a pretty varied selection of gags. Some cut off all chance of communication, some only hinder it a bit. But all serve to effectively block me from giving input. But they don’t block output. Output He wants, input? Not so much. I’m opinionated and I have very focused ideas on how things “should be”. Given the chance, I’ll speak my mind too much and sometimes, talk Master out of, or into, something different than His initial plan. So He cuts off the input. But the output, the moans and whimpers, grunts and cries… those all flow freely around every gag we own. I much prefer to be gagged because it serves to make ‘letting go’ that much easier. When I’m not gagged, He wants input. Input means keeping my head in the game and being able to answer, coherently, the questions He asks, or providing the feedback He needs. But gagged, I’m released from that “burden” and allowed to float, quietly, serenely. It’s awesome.
H is for… Hood. We have one hood, a full leather one that laces up the back and zips shut across the mouth and eye holes. I love the sensory deprivation that comes with wearing the hood. Sight is gone, hearing is muffled, breathing is restricted. Putting the hood on makes me feel like me is gone… when He looks at me, I don’t feel that He’s seeing ME because what makes up me, my face, is obliterated. And with that I sense a change in His demeanor, as if He sees me as even more of an object, a faceless, nameless, lump of meat. It’s very profound for me.
I is for…Internal Enslavement. Unfortunately, all of the links seem to be down right now, but internal enslavement is the process of “establishing and maintaining a solid and inescapable state of ownership”. I am not here, as His, just because I want to be anymore. I’m here because I can’t NOT be. Call it brainwashing, call it Stockholm syndrome, call it bullshit if you like… but there it is.
J is for… Journal. Without the benefits this journal has given us, I think we probably would not be as far along as we are. I really didn’t know how to communicate effectively with Him on a face to face basis. We struggled with it a lot, trying to find what the appropriate level of free expression was for our relationship, mainly for me and how to talk to Him. He’s intimidating and He has the power and His limits on how I could talk and what I could say made that initial communication difficult for me. But I always had the journal and I was always able to be brutally honest here. Over time, He and I have learned to talk to each other and the journal doesn’t very often fill in as a communication tool anymore. But I still love it, and it still serves a purpose for Him.
K is for… Kinky Krafts! w00t! I love love love making things for Master to hurt me with. I get all sorts of horny while I’m creating. In the middle of doing the funnel today I had to stop and masturbate. tee hee.
L is for… Love. I love Him. I am loved by Him. While there are times when I believe the intense love that we share hinders the progress here, there are more times when I’m convinced that without that love, I never would have survived what progress has been made. I need loving reassurance through this. I need to know that in spite of the many degrading paces He walks me through, I’m still lovable. Without that, I think I’d lose all desire to continue.
M is for… Master, of course! What would I be without Him?
N is for…Nipples. Gah.. my poor nipples. I don’t think I am ever within His reach and He’s not tweaking.. or trying to! Depends on if I can get away fast enough or not!
O is for…Orgasms. What fun would any of this be without orgasms? I am so glad that Master is not a fan of orgasm denial. It’s fun once in awhile.. but as a standard rule I think it would backfire. I hear that a lot, from those who do have constant orgasm denial. They tend to lose it. Makes sense to me, if you abide by the “use it or lose it” theory.
P is for… Pain. I’ve made my peace with being a masochist. I need pain just as I need love and intimacy. I don’t consider myself a huge pain slut, but when I can manage to embrace it and channel it right, there is no better drug out there.
Q is for…Quietude: the state of being quiet; tranquillity; calmness; stillness; quiet. That is a work in progress, helped by use of gags and ropes.
R is for… Rattan Cane. Definitely one of our favorites for striking toys. Even if they do break rather easily.
S is for… Seclusion. Seclusion and isolation play a large part in what we do. Restricting my outside influences dwindles my world down to one person. Master. It’s limited now because of the kids, but we dabble in it as much as we can. It may never be total, but it will be much more than what it is now. Some day I may have to do an entry just on this topic (if I haven’t already).
T is for… Torture. There is one place in which one’s privacy, intimacy, integrity and inviolability are guaranteed – one’s body, a unique temple and a familiar territory of sensa and personal history. The Master invades this shrine. He does so publicly, deliberately, repeatedly and, often, sadistically and sexually, with undisguised pleasure. Hence the all-pervasive, long-lasting, and, frequently, irreversible effects and outcomes of torture. Torture is about reprogramming the slave to succumb to an alternative exegesis of the world, proffered by the Master. It is an act of deep, indelible, traumatic indoctrination. Torture has no cut-off date. The sounds, the voices, the smells, the sensations reverberate long after the episode has ended – both in dreams and in waking moments. The Master becomes the black hole at the center of the slave’s surrealistic galaxy, sucking in the slave’s universal need for solace. Torture is the ultimate act of perverted intimacy. The Master invades the slave’s body, pervades her psyche, and possesses her mind.
U is for… Urine. Piss play is a pretty common theme lately. Seems like everyone is doing it! What can I say about it? It’s gross and disgusting and it tastes bad and it smells bad and I fucking love it. Not only am I working on a funnel for my ass, I’m also making a mouth funnel, too. (thanks for the idea, love)
V is for… Violet Wand. That Master wants really badly and I don’t!
W is for… Welts. Or any marks for that matter. I love them. That’s my badge, my reward for ‘taking it like a man’. I get mighty disappointed with myself if I don’t come out of a scene sporting some marks somewhere.
X is for…X-Rated. That’s us in a nutshell. We’re x-rated.
Y is for…Yes Sir. Do you have any idea how many times a day I say ‘yes Sir’. A bazillion! At least!
Z is for… Zippers. Hate them. Yep, just hate ‘em. So why is it that I keep making them????