Pecking Order
I think there may have been some confusion between the words “value” and “status”. For myself as well, as clearly my first thought when Master referred to my low status was to equate it with low value.
But that’s not the case. The words are different.
Status is defined in the following way:
sta·tus
1.the position of an individual in relation to another or others, esp. in regard to social or professional standing.
2. state or condition of affairs
3. Law. the standing of a person before the law.
4. conferring or believed to confer elevated status: a status car; a status job.
And value:
val·ue
- relative worth, merit, or importance
- the worth of something in terms of the amount of other things for which it can be exchanged or in terms of some medium of exchange.
- equivalent worth or return in money, material, services, etc.
- estimated or assigned worth; valuation
- liking or affection; favorable regard.
- any object or quality desirable as a means or as an end in itself.
- to consider with respect to worth, excellence, usefulness, or importance.
- to regard or esteem highly
There are instances where low status is synonymous with low value. But there can also be cases where high value accompanies low status.
If the house were to suddenly catch fire and Master had to choose quickly between saving me or saving the dog, He’d save me. Because the value of my service to Him is worth more than that of the dog. The dog’s higher status on the totem pole does not equal more valuable service.
There are those who would say that any human is, or should be, higher in status than any animal. But what if you compare a twisted serial killer to a highly trained rescue dog? There is, in my mind, a definite elevation of status and worth for that dog and a lowering for the killer.
Another example of a person having low status but high value would be that of a slave in the 1800′s. Slaves were invaluable to the running of plantations (or whatever work they were doing) but all slaves were considered pretty low in status. Even in comparison to each other, an owner might not have recognized a higher status among the slaves, seeing all of them as equally low on the totem pole, but the difference in price, or value, between a young healthy male and a female was great.
I understand that I am highly valuable to Master. He does value His property and acknowledges my worth. But that doesn’t affect my status of “less than”.
There are things that need to be done, perhaps, to reinforce the truths of my status though. Since I do know, and believe, that my value to Him is high, it’s a short hop into viewing myself as higher in status than what He thinks.
I’ve never been easily placated by words alone. I have theories on why I’m like that, but that’s another post. Words that aren’t backed up by actions are meaningless to me. I am not an easy conquest and in some ways it shames me to say that. But it’s the truth and I’m not going to just hear the words “you are lower than the dog” and accept that as truth and thus behave in that manner or treat the dog as a higher figure. If there is no evidence of it, I dismiss it with as much nonchalance as I would if one were to tell me the sky was purple. At one time there was actions that matched His words. But that’s been a long time ago.. and like a stubborn balloon, without consistent batting down, I get quite full of myself and rise accordingly. I figure I’m hovering somewhere near the ceiling at the moment. ;)
I don’t know what that says about me really. I’m content to bop along nice and low as long as He keeps me there, but once I find a hole to soar through, I am off and flying high. I know He gets tired of the work.
I told Him the other day that I can’t just submit if He doesn’t show an interest in something. That it makes me feel weak and stupid to simply comply without some active input from His side. I don’t know if that’s indicative of a larger problem or not. Probably. Polly the Pessimist says it is.
And why do I easily accept that I hold the coveted spot at the bottom of the totem pole but fight the notion of feeling weak and stupid? Why do I equate proactive submission with weakness and stupidity? I don’t in others. I admire those who would hear “you are lower than the dog” and would then immediately subjugate themselves to the dog.
I cannot do that. I need some evidence that He meant it and wasn’t just throwing out words, words that I grasp as gospel.
It’s no wonder I don’t believe what the bible says either huh? Show me proof of God and I’ll be your most devout Christian. Show me proof that Master really sees me as lower than the dog and I’m a willing dog’s bitch.
But a month from now, two months from now, I’ll need proof again. And again.
Well! That certainly went off on a tangent to no-man’s land. I should stop before I cease making any sense whatsoever.
Too late for that? ;-)
~cunt
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Monday August 27th, 2007 8:45am | 
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