“Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked.”
Aren’t you sorry you started this ;-)
LOL. Nope. I run out of topics and having this to use is like coasting on easy street. ;-)
When you you first start out in the lifestyle or started to have interest in
bdsm?
I think that’s supposed to say “when DID you”, right? That’s what I’m assuming anyway.
Umm… I always knew that I was intrigued and aroused by books and movie/television scenes that had spanking or a rape or any sort of painful, forceful deviant act in it. I was a *huge* fan of true crime books because they often discussed those very things in detail. I couldn’t tell you how often I would shamefully masturbate to true crime books. I really really thought there was something terribly wrong with my psyche.
But then I got my first computer! I had NO idea there were other people who felt the same way. I’d never heard of BDSM, knew nothing about it as a kink or a lifestyle. I was a complete nube. So, I always knew I was “different” but to focus it in a healthy manner (well, healthy to me anyway), I was 29 years old. I’m 37 now. I’m still a nube!
When did you first realize that pain excited you sexually?
Way early on. How old are you in 3rd grade? That’s when I used to straddle the pointed roof of the doghouse and fantasize about being a beaten kidnap victim .. and masturbate. Oy. *blush*
What would you do if your masters job found out about this website? Or someone your kids go to school with? Or the kids themselves?
I think I’ve answered the kid-questions pretty thoroughly already. As for Master’s job, he’s made the decision to take that risk. But he pretty well doesn’t worry about it. I guess his approach is if they find it, there were looking for it, so that puts them in about the same boat. But should it ever come down to having to make a choice between this site, my kids happiness, or Master’s job, then it’s bye-bye journal. That’s a no-brainer.
Do you ever worry about stalkers with as much information about you and scott that you’ve put out here?
I dunno. Do I put a lot of information out there?..lol I have a Pollyanna view of the world, I guess. For whatever reason, I feel safe. *shrug* Why? Are you offering to be my stalker? 
What are the rules that you have to follow?
I don’t have a lot, I don’t think. Or, maybe it’s that I don’t see them as rules anymore because it’s just an ingrained part of my life? I’m not sure.
We used to have this whole long list of rules and tasks and chores and rituals. But what we found out was that the whole list was turning into a second “job” for Master. So it’s been whittled down to the basics.
1. Do what I’m told.
2. Be respectful.
Everything else just falls into place after that. There are some things but I’m not sure if it’s a rule or a ritual or what. I do all the household work and 90% of the yard and garden work. I make coffee and breakfast (well, all meals), at night I have to make sure he has a fresh glass of water by the bed, I’m to go to Curves at least 3x a week. Hmm. I dunno. That’s a tougher question than I thought. Things are probably going to occur to me later that I’m not thinking of now because it’s things that I just *do* without really noticing it anymore.
What are the punishments for breaking the rules?
That totally depends on each situation. He’s really not an ogre and he’ll listen to my reasons (if I have any good ones) for why a rule was broken and take that into consideration. We’re far enough along now that deliberate rule breaking just doesn’t happen (often!) anymore, so with that in mind, when something needs correction, I usually DO have a reason. Even if the reason is simple complacency, I’ll generally get a warning before he steps over to punishment. He might just acknowledge to me that I’m slipping in a certain area or snatch a nipple to get my attention and tell me in no uncertain terms that I’m dangerously close to the line.
As for punishment techniques, he has a few favorites. Writing lines or copying dictionary definitions is something I HATE with a passion. So of course he likes to use that. Taking internet time away is pretty effective. He likes clothespins on the tongue and putting me in the corner which is so bloody humiliating (but it certainly has taught me to watch my mouth!), and of course there is the Blue Stick ™. It’s a tool used strictly for punishment spankings, it’s extremely painful, and i hate hate hate it. But that’s saved for really BIG boo-boos and I haven’t had one of those in a while.
~~*~~
So! In other news.. I started a job this morning!
Like 3 days after Master put the kibosh on me getting a job, the absolutely *perfect* job for me was offered to me. In fact, they begged me. I really debated on even talking to him about it because he’d been so adamant that I was “NOT going to work, not now, not ever!” that I was afraid I’d piss him off just by broaching the subject. But I also figured he’d get upset if I didn’t even tell him about it, too. (I hate those situations that appear to be no-win). Anyway, because of what it is, he agreed to let me give it a shot. It’s super part-time, early in the mornings for just a couple hours. I’m home by 9am and have plenty of time to keep up with chores and stuff. Plus it’s fun! And since I already know the place and the people, I had zero anxiety over it. It’s great. Yay me!
LikeTags: questions
Uncategorized | kaya | 
Monday March 10th, 2008 10:25am
Kudos in so many ways on the job! Extra funds means more toys, right???
Absolutely! Now I can finally order that rabbit fur flogger. ;)
I hope it involves you writing!
I wish! But no. :(
Congrats on the job!
And I’m offering to be your stalker!
Hired!!! It even comes with perks. :)
Congratulations on the new job! Zow! I hope it’s excellent.
Thanks! Second day today and so far, so good!
Can I be Stalker #2 and have small, comedic lines and dramatic scenes of me in the bushes? ;-)
And I’ll leave the bedroom window open for you. ;-)
On the Blue Stick:
If you say it’s one of these, I…. I… I’ll call you wierd!
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31qY0DRv8dL._AA280_.jpg
(It’s what came up when googling “Blue Stick”)
LOL.. if it were that, I’d probably get in trouble on purpose.
I don’t know what it is. Master says it came off of a machine of some sort at a job he was at once. It’s about an inch square, about a foot long, it’s really heavy and solid, yet it’s flexible so when he swings it, it gets that follow through momentum. It hits like a punch, it’s deep. Ugh. I loathe it lots.
Thanks for putting up with my questions. I’m all over the place with figuring out ways for him to hurt me… (I’ve gone crazy, seriously nutters…) He’s delighted though, keeps karate-kicking my arse, digging his long nails into my boobs, squeezing and biting them. Just… not enough. The bastard. *pout*
Our “blue stick” is actually a blue foot file from Bodyshop. I don’t know *what* he does with it, but it freaking fucking hurts!
Congrats on the job. Don’t you just love it when you give up and then whatever it was falls in your lap?
Thats what I was thinking too. As soon as I stopped worrying over it, there it was. Very cool.
Out of curiousity, what kind of job?
Ooppss, that was me.
Kari
Might be too nosey though.
It’s sort of a receptionist job. I open the business and get it ready for the day. Answer phones, talk to customers, that sort of thing. :-)
I hate being put in the corner :/
*nod nod nod*
Congrats on getting the perfect job! I’m glad you could find something so that you could feel you were contributing, but also not get in the way of your lifestyle! :D
Yes, exactly. It’s such a relief. Now let’s just hope it stays that way and doesn’t morph into something else like jobs have a way of doing!
Congrads on the new job!
w00t! Thank you!
congrats on the new job. sounds perfect for you!!!! i agree with Beloved’s girl….more $…more toys!!!!
my best
~slavegurl
One can never be too rich, too skinny, or have too many toys! :D
Congrats on the job!
I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one with the “if they find it, they must have been looking” theory. I haven’t even been journaling long (and there aren’t any pictures of my face on my journal) and one of my friends found it. On the other hand it gave my friend someone she could talk to about BDSM because she’s really new to it and shy. To be honest, though, I was surprised that I wasn’t previously out to her when she asked me. I think I’d thought I was.
I don’t know how people just randomly “find” a friend’s journal or website. I’ve never found something from someone I know! The person HAS to be searching for the content of the place in which case.. like you found out, it’s probably someone who has a hidden interest in it or something.
Congrats on the new job! That’s awesome.
TY TY :D
let me add my congratulations on the job…go you!
fown
Thank you!
Congrats on the job! That’s wonderful.
Thanks!
Kaya,
Can I stalk you? I’ll take pictures and threaten to post them on the web if you don’t do what I say. Uh…I guess that won’t work very well, will it. Never mind. :)
Dave
lol ;)
Sweet-ness on the job! Could you tell us what it is? Or too personal?
I just joined curves but Im kind of nervous because Im a little over-weight, so Im afraid about people looking, but since its all woman I dont think Ill have much of a problem. :D.
God, I can’t even imagine having to write lines or copy dictionary def. of course it most likely helps you in the english department. Maybe its just a big fear of mine because I have carpol tunnal syndrom.
Which is acting up right now, so I really should leave you be.
It’s sort of a receptionist job. I open the business and get it ready for the day. Answer phones, talk to customers, that sort of thing. :-)
I love Curves. There is just no way that you won’t fit in and feel comfortable once you go. 99% of the people there are overweight!..lol That’s why we go. I think you’ll really like it once you go a few times.
” I was a *huge* fan of true crime books because they often discussed those very things in detail. ”
Wow. I honest to god thought I was the only one, and I felt like such a freak. I was pretty ashamed to even think about it. Wow. You just made me feel so much better, normal almost. :)
On the true crime books/masturbating thing I totally understand the feeling there.
There was this old website that used to have detailed accounts of real experiences of torture/rape/etc. and I would masturbate to those like crazy. It is good to hear that there are others who do this sort of thing. Mostly political dissidents and stuff, but the tales of interrogations, forced stripping, electroshocks, canings, etc. mmmmmmmmmmmmm. But it does make you feel like something is seriously wrong with you.
Anyway, was there a point in time when you suddenly decided you needed to do everything for real? A point when you gave up the desire for the traditional relationship that society/religion/family heaps on you?