good question – I think it is different for “me/him/us” – they just don’t produce the same results and future behavior.

Is the difference that you see purely the fear and pain? Do you think that you feel that way because you are a masochist and know that pain feeds a different desire than being without a computer? – I think so – I think your right on how this works for me.

That is one of His popular punishments, as well writing lines, doing chores, and other restrictions. I learn from them just as well as I learn from a spanking from that stick. Generally a punishment is both a spanking AND a loss of some privilege. Not restricting me from the computer on this particular occasion was because He was travelling at the time and restricting me would have also been a punishment to Himself, as He’d have lost the time we spend together online when He’s away.

I think he punishes you with the restricted privlidges etc and he gets turned on with the spanking/ass fucking, i.e whatever sexual punishment you receive. Putting a “sexual” in front of the word “punishment” turns me on though – I wonder why I”m turned on by that if I think/feel that sexual punishment doesnt work for us? why does it still turn me/him/us on?

Ok i have not been owned for 4 months now but i was for 7 months and he seem to go over the top with punisment buit then i am strong willed and stuborn about thing in general even when i am sumitting to hi which was a constant it takes alot to get me to get it not in my head but for me to feel it i have a tendecy to be able to push my emontions aside and take what ever so it had to be both mental and pysical for me i wount get into the details of the punisments but they worked fo r me but they also had to be over the top for me as well to get beyond that emontinal barre.
As far as punishment for paly sake i just think it is dumb but then agian i am a slave not a bottom or someone who dose this to spice up her life or sex life it is who i am what i need

I know there are people like that. I’ve known a few. It’s just when it comes down to the BDSM Bible of Melen and rayne (iow – the way we do things, not the way things should be done) there is (and has to be or I get into a funk for days after a session cause I’m too embarrassed to say “I felt like you were punishing me… were you?”) a huge distinction between play and punishment.

I guess to those who feel they need to have reasons to beat their slave/submissive/bottom/whatever, I would say spend a little more time researching and getting yourself comfortable with your own desires before venturing too far down this path. The dishonesty of pulling together a laundry list of transgressions to beat a bottom for could cause irreparable damage to the relationship. It could cause feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem along with all sorts of complexes. Especially if the sadist enjoys playing like this often. I know I would eventually be whining something about always being in trouble and never being good enough before too long.

And I’m sure some DD relationships are exactly that. But there are quite a few that just honestly believe a woman should be submissive to her husband.

I’m not sure if this makes sense or is saying what I want it to. I probably shouldn’t have posted until later in the day. It’s almost six am and I’m slightly hung over. And it’s off to work I go!!

Now thinking about it I think it did have an effect on the relationship. I wasn’t getting any attention, and took it more as he was not doing his job as my teacher/owner.
I have not been owned for about a month now, and my heart is broken over it, but it seems the first thing to go is punishment, then praises, then the rest just falls apart too.

~~jane

I’ll never figure the punishment thing out. I want it. I need it. …I think. But when I get it, it pisses me right the fuck off, unless it’s a really bad one, & then I work through the pissed off, to the sorry for myself, to the just sorry, to the “oh please o please I never want you to be unhappy with me again.” But that’s a big damn punishment. And, to be honest, he just doesn’t do those — a handful of times in all our M/s relationship.

So I used to get unhappy that rules were put in place, but “punishment” wasn’t consistent. It used to make me act out. But all that did was make him withdraw, & things went to shit.

I wish punishment were part of our D/s. It makes me feel very very owned. It makes me feel very very safe, focused, and submissive. Except… I don’t know… Do I really wish it? In the reality? I think maybe I would wish it, but it’s not within my reality, so why think about it. I figured out that keeping up with rules and punishment was too draining for him. If it were his “thing,” it wouldn’t be, so I guess it’s not.

As for other people’s “play punishment” and all that other jazz — I could care less. Whatever flicks your bic.

We’re a domestic discipline couple, but we’re not disguising our kink. Domestic Discipline IS our kink.

There’s a huge difference between erotic spanking and punishment spanking. For erotic spanking, I can enjoy part of it, but with the punishment, I enjoy nothing, end up bruised and need to journal extensively to figure out my feelings about why I was punished and what my head space should be so I don’t end up punished again.

Master does have a punishment kink, but when I’ve really done something I need to be punished for, he uses punishments that aren’t erotic for either of us like the algebra or the sentences. It pisses him off that he has to “deal with me” on that level and makes me never ever EVER want to do whatever I did again to put him in such a foul fucking mood.

As for playing punishment, we haven’t done that but have nothing really to say toward folks who do. If it’s their kink, it’s their kink. If people want to run around with lace doilies on their heads beating each other with wet spaghetti, it’s their kink.