“Confidence, like art, never comes from having all the answers; it comes from being open to all the questions.”
What type of chick were you in highschool? Im just curious, Like were you one of those bitchy girls that everyone likes…one of those bitchy girls everyone hates, ect. Which one were you?
I wasn’t a bitch at all in high school. That’s a skill I developed after being online.
I went to a very small school. There were about 20 kids in my graduating class, less than a hundred in the entire high school. So while there was some amount of "class" separation, cliques and whatnot, there was a lot of blurring of the social lines. There had to be, or each clique would have had about 3 kids in it. Everyone knew everyone else, if you went to a party you’d be socializing with almost the whole school.
There were those few kids who were great at everything and were super popular, and then a few who sucked at life, and everyone else fell somewhere in the middle. I was in the middle. I was neither a brainiac nor did I come close to flunking. I wasn’t a ’jock’ but I had fun playing when I did play. I wasn’t a troublemaker, but I wasn’t a goody two shoes either. I did my share of naughty things. I was just a normal kid.
After all the really intense beatings we’ve seen documented here, how is a simple hand spanking for you now? Is it basically just fun foreplay/warm up to scene?
A simple hand spanking? What’s that? 
Um… you know, it’s all in the delivery. A simple spanking can be intense (by intense I mean painful enough to make me cry), but, yeah, it’s probably NOT going to send me over the edge or leave me feeling the way I prefer to feel. I think that only happens when it’s his intent to push me there.
He has a plan (someday when the kids leave us alone for two whole hours) to spank me through an entire movie. It’s my opinion that his hand will give out long before my ass does. He thinks it’ll be fun and that I’ll be begging for him to stop. We’ll just see about that!
You mentioned earlier that your kids see you choosing to live as a subservient wife. Is that really so? Do they see you deferring to him as, the one who makes all the decisions or whatnot? I mean, do they really see you as subservient? Do your daughters ever ask why it is that you don’t challenge him, or are they ever under the impression that all women/wives should let the husband take charge or whatnot?
They see me waiting on him hand and foot. I fix his plate, refill it if he wants, watch his cup. They see me take off his boots- I could list a hundred little things. It operates, basically, like an old-fashioned "Husband is King of the House" marriage. All he does is go to work and come home (though he certainly does assist with bigger Manly-type jobs). What they know of the decision making process is that I will not decide anything without first talking it over with Master. Whether they’re entirely aware that he is, in fact, deciding things alone, or whether they think we’re making a joint decision, I’m not sure. They do know that his final decision is – well, final.
They do not think that all women should let the husband rule the roost. Not at all. And they have questioned why I don’t challenge him. I simply explain it as this is how I choose to live and that it makes me happy. That they can decide for themselves what type of relationship they want to have when they are adults. I can tell you that Am will probably not be a subservient female. She has gotten ’offended’ on my behalf a time or two and it’s taken several times for me to stand up to *her* about my choices. She’s made her peace with it now and only says that she’ll never want what I do. I tell her she doesn’t have to have it, that’s the beauty of having choices.
(Nor do I allow my son to think he’s entitled to being waited on or served. I stress that it is not a man’s right for a woman to take care of him. It’s all about choices and what you want out of life.)
You can ONLY have three wishes, so one wish CANNOT be for more wishes.
Apart from that, ANYTHING can be granted.
What do you wish for before you go into that cage for the rest of your life?
I gotta admit, this one stumped me. I sorta went through a list of "hopes". Like, I hope I’m happy, I hope it’s the right choice, blah blah blah. And I went through a list of silly wishes. Like, I wish Master would give me a laptop. And a tv. And cable. And a take-out menu and a phone.
But I was coming up with nothing. I asked Master. What do I wish for? He grinned and said "you wish there are no bugs in there with you." So…
I wish for there to be no bugs in my cupboard.
And that’s just all I can come up with. I trust Master to supply the rest.
You often complain about being (or at least feeling) fat. So spill the beans: How large are you? I’m guess about a size 14? 155-160 pounds? (Maybe less…it’s hard to guess since I don’t know how tall you are.)
I fluctuate between a 14 and 16 and I’m heavier than 160. By 10 to 15lbs, depending on the time of the month. (And I’m 5’4", btw. Master is 6’4".)
Anyway, was there a point in time when you suddenly decided you needed to do everything for real? A point when you gave up the desire for the traditional relationship that society/religion/family heaps on you?
I don’t know that I could pinpoint an exact time or period. It’s been fairly recent, after I’d met Master anyway. I suppose the idea skirted around in my head for a while, but it was such an impossibility that I never seriously let it take root. It was masturbation fodder, nothing more, nothing less. But wow, when something that you’ve filed away as a pipe dream suddenly seems possible, it’s amazing. And scary. Really scary. And now, it’s completely out of my hands. It’s not just my dream anymore, not my fantasy. It’s Master’s goal. In fact, I asked him just the other day, what if *I* change my mind? Before I’d always been worried that HE would change his mind, now I’m worried about me.. and he just said that would really suck for me. it’ll happen however he wants it to happen.
Have you ever used Tabasco sauce? We tried it once and instead of using a q-tip like it said he thought he would just splash it on and use milk to dull the pain. NOOOO, I had to run to the shower, I WAS CRYING AND I JUST WANTED TO RIP MY PARTS OFF. Ever had that feeling? -)
I’ve only ever had it put on my nipples, where it did absolutely nothing whatsoever. But I do know that feeling. Icy Hot, cinnamon… yeah… I know the feeling!
What would you like to ask your readers? 
Oh the usual stuff comes to mind. How did you find the journal? Why do you read it? But that’s mostly ego stroking.
Though I *am* interested in how people find it. Through links, through searches? I think that’s interesting. But what I would really like to know is this:
If you are one of the people who read it but don’t like or agree with what I say, WHY do you continue to read?
Why do the rest of you think they read?
If you’ve bought one of my crafts, what do you think of it?
Is there anything you’d want to see me make and sell? Craft ideas?
I know I read other people and "steal" ideas for play from them all the time. Have you ever read us and gone off to do what we just did or do you shudder and say "Thank GOD we aren’t into that!"?
What do you really think of the ’cunt in a cage’ plan? Realistic or completely insane and doomed to failure?
I’m sure I’ll think of more!
Tags: questions
Uncategorized, pictures | kaya | 
Monday March 17th, 2008 10:33am
Let us know when he tries the tabasco sauce on you…hint, hint!
To answer your question…toy’s blog was the first one that I found (by googling ‘anal hook’, btw), and I linked to you from her.
I read you because you are in a full-time D/s relationship with your husband. Most of my other favorite bloggers have their D/s relationships with people whom they don’t live with. So I’m fascinated with people who live together with a full-time D/s dynamic, and how they still manage to work out all of the other “practical” things that you have to do in a live-in relationship.
I’m not subservient, like you are, but I am submissive. And S wants a self-sufficient sub (say that 10 times fast
). We’ve tried 24/7 and so far, it hasn’t worked for us. But that’s OK — we just keep trying different things, and maybe 24/7 will work for us somewhere down the line.
Kaya, I think I answered most of these in my blog a few days ago when you found me, but…
If you are one of the people who read it but don’t like or agree with what I say, WHY do you continue to read?
I can’t say I like everything I read, but it’s the way it’s written that I admire. No holds barred, here is what we like and do. There are also days when I read and feel like “Oh my god, someone else feels that way too?!” I also like the community…I’ve made some friends through your blog and it’s fun to see what other people are thinking.
Why do the rest of you think they read?
I imagine for a lot fo the same reasons…although there are certainly some readers who like how far you and Master go with everything.
If you’ve bought one of my crafts, what do you think of it? Is there anything you’d want to see me make and sell? Craft ideas?
Not applicable. Beloved doesn’t like to see me marked the morning afterwards, and most of your cleaver crafty offerings are ouchy-marky things. Although I’ve made a friend who makes gorgeous floggers…I could tell ya how those are done so you could add them.
I know I read other people and “steal” ideas for play from them all the time. Have you ever read us and gone off to do what we just did or do you shudder and say “Thank GOD we aren’t into that!”?
Most of the time? I’m a shudder-er. *soft smile* I’m a green newbie, so gimme a year or two, maybe I’ll grow into a depraved goddess like you. *wink*
What do you really think of the ’cunt in a cage’ plan? Realistic or completely insane and doomed to failure?
uh….missed the plan. I’ll have to go looking for it…
Found you through the Eros Blog link. You have been so funny and normal that it’s just been a joy to read you over the last few years. I’m the one who keeps nagging you to write, but it occurs to me that you are!
Best to you and your Master!
Anon.
It has been so long that I am not 100% sure, but I think I found you with google.
I read you mostly because: my wife is very smart, type a, and has this vision of what a woman should be, but she has strong need to be dominated (broken-taken charge of). I see in you a lot of the same qualities that I see in her, and yet you have made peace with what you need where she has not. The hope is that by learning from you I will be better able to guide her, which has proven to be true.
cunt in the cage: I am fairly sure that if you ever got there that you both would find that you don’t like it. I think that you will keep it mostly as a potential, with him doing it only when you need a tune-up.
I figured I would respond to your questions.
~How did you find the journal? Why do you read it?
I found the journal through a few mutual LJ friends. I saw your comments, became curious, and lurked for awhile, then friended you. I continue reading for various reasons. I find you incredibly interesting and eloquent. I love that you provide realism where many others discuss only the good aspects of D/s – you are a real person, with ups and downs like the rest of us. At one time you inspired me to write the best paper of my life – a paper on S & M during my senior year of college. And at this point in time, I frankly admire you a lot for the strength, courage, growth, and perseverance you show on a daily basis.
~If you are one of the people who read it but don’t like or agree with what I say, WHY do you continue to read?
Not one of them.
~Why do the rest of you think they read?
I think they read for one of a few reasons. Some probably really do like and/or agree with what you say, but don’t want to admit it, and so they lash out. Some probably genuinely think they need to “fix” you or tell you the “right” way to live. The rest of us know they are the crazy ones, not you. And then there are undoubtedly those who read out of sheer curiosity – much the way I ask questions of my vegetarian friends or the like. I disagree, but honestly want to understand what makes them tick in that particular sense. New perceptions are fun.
~If you’ve bought one of my crafts, what do you think of it?
N/A thus far
~Is there anything you’d want to see me make and sell? Craft ideas?
I would love it if you made floggers, as mentioned above, or things like that. Though, I have no clue how to or how difficult it would be.
~I know I read other people and “steal” ideas for play from them all the time. Have you ever read us and gone off to do what we just did or do you shudder and say “Thank GOD we aren’t into that!”?
I have never duplicated anything I have read here, but that is mostly due to circumstances beyond Master’s and my control. (Read: I live with his parents right now since I am in school and cannot afford my own place.) But I want to do a lot of the things I have read about here, like the tack bra or the nipple suction or the metal scrunchie, etc. The needles and breast carving I cannot take, and have been one of my moments of shuddering – kudos to you for being able to!
~What do you really think of the ’cunt in a cage’ plan? Realistic or completely insane and doomed to failure?
I don’t fully understand the parameters of it, to be honest. I would love it if you would explain that sometime in a post. But taking it as literal…well…I am not sure how realistic it is, purely as a practical matter. But I don’t think it is insane, either. It’s not something I would do, personally, though. (Claustrophobic, and I lose all control of myself when isolated for too long.)
I’ll bite and answer some of your questions…
>How did you find the journal? Why do you read it?
I know I found it through a link from another blog, but don’t remember exactly which blog! I read because you write in an honest manner about the life of a submissive in a loving relationship.
>If you are one of the people who read it but don’t like or agree with what I say, WHY do you continue to read? Why do the rest of you think they read?
I know I’ve often read blogs, etc., about topics I don’t like. Sometimes I’ve read things about topics that disgust or shock me. And I read them for a lot of reasons, including that perverse feeling of “I can’t believe anyone would ever do this!” (After all, isn’t that the reason there have been countless episodes of Jackass, and two profitable movies? Just my thought on why they continue to read.
>>Have you ever read us and gone off to do what we just did or do you shudder and say “Thank GOD we aren’t into that!”?
I must admit that I mostly think, “That’s a bit too much for me,” because I’m not very masochistic, and my boyfriend isn’t very sadistic.
Thanks for writing! I am always excited to see when you have a new blog post.
J
I really am only commenting here this ONE time because you asked a few questions and I feel answers are in order.
If you are one of the people who read it but don’t like or agree with what I say, WHY do you continue to read?
I read a great deal of blogs involving real life M/s D/s and bdsm. I used to go around linking to them and commenting on them. I stopped because the times I don’t agree with people, I tend to come off as less than pleasant and then people get offended by me and upset with me. I continue to read even though I don’t agree with what everyone says because my opinions are not the only ones that exist. The only way to grow as a person is to learn other peoples beliefs and see their view points. I may not agree, or maybe I will learn something and see it in a new light that will make me agree. The fact is unless I stay reading, I don’t know.
I know I read other people and “steal” ideas for play from them all the time. Have you ever read us and gone off to do what we just did or do you shudder and say “Thank GOD we aren’t into that!”?
A very long time ago.
)
What do you really think of the ’cunt in a cage’ plan? Realistic or completely insane and doomed to failure?
I know a few people who have done similar things, so I believe it is possible and think if anyone can do it you certainly can
)
I havn’t commented in a while and thought I’d answer some of your questions.
*If you are one of the people who read it but don’t like or agree with what I say, WHY do you continue to read?*
~I found your blog shortly after starting my own and you are one of my favorite blogs to ready daily. I don’t agree or disagree on anything you’ve said in your blog because it’s your blog and you can say or do as you please.
I just love being able to take a peek into your life and I enjoy the pictures and posts. I keep meaning to watch a clips4sale of yours but havn’t yet.
*Why do the rest of you think they read?*
~I think people read you because you are very open and honest in your posts and you express yourself really well too. I often find myself relating to much of what you write about. I admit too that I’m curious to know what else you might try as you do things that I have never read anyone else doing.
*If you’ve bought one of my crafts, what do you think of it? Is there anything you’d want to see me make and sell? Craft ideas?*
~I havn’t bought any crafts yet but I’d like to. I’d love if you got into making floggers or paddles or that. We tend to use more spanking toys than others.
*I know I read other people and “steal” ideas for play from them all the time. Have you ever read us and gone off to do what we just did or do you shudder and say “Thank GOD we aren’t into that!”?*
~I havn’t stolen any ideas yet. the only thing which has made me shudder was the video of your breasts being nailed. I had to look away at the one part of it. And it takes a lot to get me to look away from anything.
*What do you really think of the ’cunt in a cage’ plan? Realistic or completely insane and doomed to failure?*
I admit that’s a bit fantasy of mine to be a “cunt in a cage”. I hope that your dream comes true with it.
BIG HUGS
padme amidala
I love/hate those kitten clips and the tongue clip I got from you.
Love/hate. They are extra pinchy!
And I will tell you that the one that says “SHHHHH!” on it, more often goes on the tip of my nose. Holy cats that hurts! When I continue to make noise, he thumps the end of it. It makes my eyes water, but let me tell ya, I shut up!
So we like/hate them very much!
Hi Kaya,
I’ve got one for ya. I found your blog via:
1. My best friend won a blogger of the year award for best LGBT blog.
2. Which led me to Dave Hingsburger’s blog, since he had also won an award in the same competition (I know of his books so it was a pleasure to find his blog).
3. Which led me to the BBC Ouch! website, where Dave contributes.
4. Which led me to Arthritic Young Thing’s blog (she also contributes to Ouch!).
5. Which led me to Ms. Pet’s blog (a friend of A.Y.T.).
6. Which links to yours! And I’ve been reading it for a while now – about six months – and have gone through the archives. BDSM scares me personally, but your journal is so funny, so honest, so different from the cold stylized ones out there. Don’t never stop.
Seeing this whole list of names on this blog (with the exception of Ms. Pet and maybe AYT, although I didn’t realize Ms. Pet linked here) was not something I ever expected to happen. I am very amused. (I read Ouch and all the blogs listed except for your friend’s, I think)
A friend of mine linked this blog as one of her daily readings. I enjoy your photos and descriptions of various tortures and find them very pleasurable to peruse.
I have enjoyed playing with pain and some form or other of control for perhaps 5 years now. So I still appreciate different perspectives. And while I sincerely doubt I will ever own a slave, the fantasy is still good to keep on a back burner.
VK
I found you ’cause someone was posting the site that had your pictures on them (don’t think it was your LJ…the other one) all over a Yahell chat room! *snickers*
I am a long-time lurker.:) I found your blog through a search about a year ago.
My Sir has a large (LARGE) dog and it has a large crate….I have often wondered what it would be like to be locked in. I don’t think I could do it though, so good luck:)
I have a question for you if you get a chance to answer: If your Master didn’t like your kids and decided they should go live somewhere else without you, could you live with that decision? could you give up the kids for Him? (He does make the decisions, right?) I am just curious because i have a difficult child and had to move recently because Sir couldn’t live with him anymore.:(
All right, I guess it’s my turn to answer questions…
Here we go:
1/ Why do the rest of you think they read?
Because they’re too horrified to look away.
Honestly though, I think some people just return here because it ends up being such a shock to the system and they want to figure you out.
I also think it’s because you’re witty, honest, stright forward, playful and just… plain hilarious. That’s why I read you and keep returning (every 30 minutes *lol*). You’re childishly cute, that’s for sure!
2/ If you’ve bought one of my crafts, what do you think of it?
Well, I got the cuffs from you. They’re now miiiine, miine. I love them.
3/ Is there anything you’d want to see me make and sell? Craft ideas?
Well, the grater paddle idea I had. I’m not finding any pingpong rackets or 4 sided graters in the 2nd hand store, so perhaps you’ll have more luck?
4/ I know I read other people and “steal” ideas for play from them all the time. Have you ever read us and gone off to do what we just did or do you shudder and say “Thank GOD we aren’t into that!”?
Uh… I don’t steal your ideas for play (I think), but they make darn good masturbation fantasies sometimes. I’m really into pain – when it’s not applied to me.
Some of the stuff you guys do just scares me shitless when I read about it. Then I think about it. Then I get horny. Damn you!
5/ What do you really think of the ’cunt in a cage’ plan? Realistic or completely insane and doomed to failure?
The idea of totally brainwashing you to the point of no independent thought? Simply keeping you at home all the time? I dunno. It’s fascinating, so I’m sticking around until I know what happens.
As to how I found your blog… I can’t remember. I think it was through a link on TSR, back when you were still posting. Or their list of blogs-page. I dunno. I just know I lurked on LJ, going far, far back in your posts… One of the things you’ve written that stands out to me as one of the first I read was the one on sloppy BJs.
I hate giving sloppy BJs. For me, that thick flem doesn’t “stick to the back of my mouth” like so many BJ tutorials say it will. It comes up – by me gaging and puking it up a cup at a time. My owner can’t stand the sight of me all slime covered with a big puddle on the floor, nor the choking, gagging, crying sounds I make. So I swallow.
But how does one stay down (and I mean, an inch or so from the base) of an 8″ long, 5.5″ girth, cock without swallowing? For 30-40 minutes? Alternatively, how does one swallow without pulling away?
I’m rambling now, and I really ought to be brushing my teeth and going to bed.
*hugs*
Kaya,
I found you through Section 12. To be honest, I don’t know how I ended up there. My husband and I are not into this lifestyle, but I am fascinated by people in general, and like to go outside my comfort zone. Information is knowledge…can’t hurt to know all that is out there.
My husband would tell you I read because I’m a voyeur. Ok that’s true as well .
The real reason I continue to read, is because you are real. Your writing style is very entertaining, and it takes talent to write the way you do. Your honest and sincerity, as well as the love for your family comes through in all you write. That’s why I read.
A Silent Reader
And I’m 5’4″, btw. Master is 6’4″
That just totally tripped me out for some reason! It just goes to show that pictures really *don’t* tell the entire story. 6′4″. You don’t say. Wow.
All the time! Master and I get a lot of ideas from you but they are never exactly the same. I’m not as much of a masochist as you appear to be, but the ideas you have sure stir the pot
Under the desk time has become Master’s favorite and I’m wishing I’d learn to dust under there more often. I get these sneezing, itchy nose periods and no matter what, he’s still going.
Are you still considering ShibariCon this May?
If you are one of the people who read it but don’t like or agree with what I say, WHY do you continue to read? I sometimes don’t agree with what you say, but who the hell am I to argue with you?
Why do the rest of you think they read? I get to answer two questions! I read because I think your so fucking funny, and I do agree with alot of what you say, and I’ve always been interested in the kink…and you kind of helped me through not being(completely) afraid of it.
I know I read other people and “steal” ideas for play from them all the time. Have you ever read us and gone off to do what we just did or do you shudder and say “Thank GOD we aren’t into that!”? As I said, Your journal made me relaxed with the idea of da kink…I also tried the whole spanking thing because your like wonder woman with that shit…I cant even last a few slaps.
What do you really think of the ’cunt in a cage’ plan? Realistic or completely insane and doomed to failure? I know its completely mean to say it…but I think its doomed failure…but since you and your Master have done more than just that…I but you guys can do it.
How did you find the journal?
I found your journal in a search for someone whom lives like i would love to live. I do think it was a link from another journal a very long time ago.
Why do you read it?
As above… you live like how i would LOVE to live. Perhaps not as “intense” at times but the lifestyle is where i want to be fully one day. (long distance relationships suck ass!)
Why do the rest of you think they read?
I think the others whom object to your lifestyle choices read because they are either closet subs (the ones that secretly deep down it tickles something in them) or to them its disgusting but like watching a train wreck (or car accident) they just CANT look away no matter how bothered they are.
If you’ve bought one of my crafts, what do you think of it?
I’ve never bought your crafts (yet) however i love what you do!! Keep up the great work!
Is there anything you’d want to see me make and sell? Craft ideas?
I think you should give a go at making those floggers with the soft leather million and ten ends! I think you would be very good at making those.
Have you ever read us and gone off to do what we just did or do you shudder and say “Thank GOD we aren’t into that!”?
Most things i read i go off and think Oh… why cant we do that? The human toilet thing i hope we NEVER Get into!
What do you really think of the ’cunt in a cage’ plan? Realistic or completely insane and doomed to failure?
I don’t remember reading about that! I missed a page somewhere dammit!
i was told today that my Domme wants me to be branded. i immediately thought of you and your fear of being branded, and your Master’s desire to have it done.
i’ll make sure to write up an entry about it, to let you and your Master know how it goes.
1. How did you find the journal?
I don’t remember. Both my Owner and I read your journal and probably one of us introduced it to the other.
2. Why do you read it?
Like others have said, I read because you are real, honest, intelligent, funny and your writing is highly entertaining.
You present a loving, real (there’s that word again) relationship that I find utterly fascinating.
3. If you are one of the people who read it but don’t like or agree with what I say, WHY do you continue to read?
Obviously, I’m not one of those people.
4. Why do the rest of you think they read?
Possibilities…
1. They secretly like it but are disgusted/ashamed/scared of their feelings. Like moths to a flame… but instead of opening themselves to exploring and possibly accepting that side of their sexuality, they rally against you to justify they fears.
2. They’re pathetic, judgmental, ignorant assholes with nothing better to do with their time than harass you.
*shrug*
5. I know I read other people and “steal” ideas for play from them all the time. Have you ever read us and gone off to do what we just did or do you shudder and say “Thank GOD we aren’t into that!”?
Unfortunately, my Owner lives far, far away from me and our relationship is only online. However, you have given us much to discuss and have helped to open my mind to things I was once adamantly against.
6. What do you really think of the ’cunt in a cage’ plan? Realistic or completely insane and doomed to failure?
I could, if I wanted, say a lot about that, but really, who gives a fuck what I think? You do what you want to do and if it works, fantastic… and if not, oh well, it’s not the end of the world, yeah?
Well, I found you through embre’s f-list.
If you’ve bought one of my crafts, what do you think of it? I do have a tack bra but Penguin doesn’t like the idea of me using it so right now it sits in my dresser drawer until Penguin decides that boob torture is a good idea.
Is there anything you’d want to see me make and sell? Craft ideas? Erm…I really don’t know on this one.
I know I read other people and “steal” ideas for play from them all the time. Have you ever read us and gone off to do what we just did or do you shudder and say “Thank GOD we aren’t into that!”? I think the one scene I’ve struggled the most with is the one where he nailed your tits into a 2 x 4. It made me squirm and not in a good or pleasant way. There are times when I am turned on by the stuff you do though too (like the hair bondage.)
What do you really think of the ’cunt in a cage’ plan? Realistic or completely insane and doomed to failure? I wish you the best of luck and I hope I get to see you once more before it becomes official.
Kaya,
I started reading you almost three years ago… and this is how: I used to read a blog called http://www.jasonmulgrew.com, which used to be known as http://www.everythingiswrongwithme.blogspot.com. In 2005, he was up for a “Best of Blogger” award, and he linked the blogs with whom he was competing.
One of which was http://www.atasteofthegoodwife.blogspot.com, which was the first sex blog I ever, EVER read! She had several links, one of which was the now disgraced Creative Spanked Wife, with whom I’m sure we’re all familiar, and Patty used to link you on that blog. So three years ago, I found you, and I’ve been reading, slightly aghast, slightly offended, greatly aroused, and always fascinated, ever since. My name is C. You know me because I wrote an ending to a story of yours a 2006, and b/c I tried kink for the first time in 2007 b/c of you!
To answer your question, I tried the football thing, and got really REALLY pissed when it didn’t work for me!
I’m still bitter about that one!
I found your journal from the link at Baccus’ blog. I can’t tell you how I found that, because I don’t remember.
If you are one of the people who read it but don’t like or agree with what I say, WHY do you continue to read?
Why do the rest of you think they read?
If you’ve bought one of my crafts, what do you think of it?
Is there anything you’d want to see me make and sell? Craft ideas?
I know I read other people and “steal” ideas for play from them all the time. Have you ever read us and gone off to do what we just did or do you shudder and say “Thank GOD we aren’t into that!”?
What do you really think of the ’cunt in a cage’ plan? Realistic or completely insane and doomed to failure?
How did you find the journal?
I don’t remember the series of links that I clicked on to find your journal, but I do remember that I first stumbled upon the picture site that you and your master had a few years ago. That linked to your livejournal, and I’ve been here ever since.
Why do you read it?
I read your journal because there are few things you refuse to talk about. Sure there are some aspects you and I disagree about, but you’d find that between any two people. But you are brutally honest about everything, but most importantly about what goes on in your head during every moment of play with you and your master. That mental insight is what keeps me coming back, even if it is mostly to lurk.
Why do the rest of you think they read?
There are some things that you do that I wouldn’t ever touch, like nailing your breasts to a board, or your complete 24/7 D/s relationship, but those simply don’t appeal to me. The fact that you are crazy enough to ask for your breasts to be nailed down or to wear the tack bra for 24 hours and generally always seem to put your foot in your mouth, much to the benefit of your readers, does give me a whole lot of respect for you.
If you’ve bought one of my crafts, what do you think of it?
I’ve not yet bought anything, but I am interested in getting my girlfriend a tack bra. She mentioned it in the same tone that I imagine you saying that you want to wear the tack bra for 24 hours.
Is there anything you’d want to see me make and sell? Craft ideas?
I can’t think of anything.
I know I read other people and “steal” ideas for play from them all the time. Have you ever read us and gone off to do what we just did or do you shudder and say “Thank GOD we aren’t into that!”?
To be honest, you’ve yet to directly inspire my play, as far as I’m aware. However, see the tack bra comment above.
What do you really think of the ’cunt in a cage’ plan? Realistic or completely insane and doomed to failure?
I don’t entirely remember what the cunt-in-a-cage plan is about. What I remember about it seems like some Platonic Ideal that you are striving toward. Don’t be disappointed if you don’t quite get where you want to go. Nobody is perfect, and you shouldn’t hold yourself to standards higher than your current ones.
Now for my questions:
Since you and your master have a foot difference in height, I was wondering whether this ever caused any problems in any regard? Does this preclude any sort of positions or other general bodily arrangements or lead to preferences for others? My girlfriend and I are in a similar situation.
If he’s up for it, I’d like to hear/read your master’s take on that question too.
Do you still have difficulty kissing your master? How does he react to this?
I know the question wasn’t directed at me, but I have some experience in the height difference department, as well. I am roughly 5′3″ (and a half), while Master is 6′4″. It doesn’t cause us any real problems; no positions are eliminated by the height difference, it’s just that in some cases he has a hard time kissing me during sex. The only real impact that it has made is that Master’s height itself makes it damn near impossible for me to sit on a counter while he stands and fucks me. Other than that, nothing is really precluded or preferred as a result of our heights.
To add to that – I asked Master, and he says he doesn’t notice a height-induced impact, either.
I found your journal from the link at Baccus’ blog. I can’t tell you how I found that, because I don’t remember.
And then I was going to answer the rest of the questions and delete them as I went but the ^@$&$ return key jumped under my moving finger I SWEAR.
Okay so. Anyway. I don’t disagree with what you say so I can’t speak to that. It never… okay rarely seems to me like you’re presenting something that it would make sense to disagree with. You’re describing your perspective. I read recipes on the internet all the time saying ‘This recipe with chile peppers in it is delicious’ and all I can think is ‘that is obviously, patently, inherently untrue.’ You never say stuff like that. You say ‘I love these chile peppers’ and I am free to think ‘you weirdo’ if I want to.
But most of the time I don’t think that. Enough of what you and your Master do is of interest to me that I don’t equate it to chile peppers.
I think the people who ‘disagree’ fit into two classes. 1) people who don’t like what you like, but read anyway because while their kink is different, it’s still kink, and they crave contact with other people in ‘the lifestyle,’ and 2) people who think what you do is ‘wrong’ or whatever, and they read because they need places to rant and fume in order to let out the abnormally high quantity of vitriol in their bodies. …hee.
I’m not sure what I think about the ‘cunt in a cage’ plan. I’m sure I’m not the only person to say this but… I bet it will mean fewer/no posts. Sad for us readers!
I found your blog about three years ago. Think I found it linked to the “Lessons Learned” blog. I have commented several times before. Yours is the only blog I read daily. Why? Because your real and I had wanted my last releationship to be like yours, but that failed, due to me by the way. In you I see hope for my future. And your a sexy piece of ass too!!!!!!!!
lol, thanks for sharing your life with us. prof
Kaya,
I found your blog through Cherry’s Corner Blog (I think it’s defunct now). She had about six dozen indesciminate links, many of which didn’t work. Yours was one of them. I was, frankly, researching non-safe word BDSM for my writing and yours facinated me originally in a “Oh My God!” way. I actually read your entire archive in two months trying to learn just who this lady was who wanted to be onjectified in the strongest possible way. You’re one of four that I follow regularly now.
I originally was appalled by cunt-in-a-box, but kept reading from a desire to understand. I think I have a small clue now, though it still bothers me on a purely visceral level. On the other hand, I see how strongly you desire this and, in spite of emotional reservations, really hope that you can reach it (just ask Him to let us know when it happens so we won’t worry).
I think some of those who disagree are like I was and simply want to understand just why you are th way you are. Of course, there’s the traffic accident syndrome-looking at what is horrifying because they can’t turn away. Unfortunately, some read simply to feel superior (poor saps, absolutely no self esteem).
I’m vanilla, so I’m not someone you would expect to buy yout products, but… I have been tempted anyway. I write BDSM fiction and have thought of experimenting for research purposes. I even have a pair of clamps and a gag. They do nothing for me, but I know how they feel (in fact, I can’t get hard with clamps on my nipples). I also have a blindfold, but that was for when I was working graveyard shifts and sleeping with an east facing window.
I don’t steal you ideas for play (obviously), but I have stolen things from you for my writing. One of my characters “bought” a pillar of pain from you (or your fictional counterpart).
I don’t know if cunt-in-a-box is possible, but I hope it is, sometimes. Other times I find myself hoping it isn’t, mostly because you will no longer be in our lives then.
If I may, I’ve thought of some more questions.
1) Have you ever “ridden a horse”? Not a live one, the wooden one that tries to split your cunt open.
2) Do you engage in water play (submersion, forced hosing, etc.)?
3) How does your doctor deal with your lifestyle? I can’t imagine that the “Owned Slave” scars go unnoticed during a breast exam, let alone the welts from a great night of whipping et al. It wold be nice to know that the medical community has open minded individuals who understand the difference between abuse and “aggressive” sexual play.
4) You asked if anyone has stolen play ideas from you. Do you worry that a novice may get in over her head doing so?
5) Have you stolen play ideas from other blogs (such as DL’s Toy)?
6) What’s your top five favorite movies of all time?
7) What do you think are the five best movies of all time? (feel free to up the number on this and the previous if five is too small)
9) What’s your top five favorite books of all time?
10) Do you ever play monopoly, and if you do, who usually wins?
And here you were thinking I couldn’t come up with vanilla questions.
have fun with the answers!
Dave
I foudnt his journal through a google search – I believe on “safe word” or some such. Anyway, what came up was that list you posted once upon a time… Submissive no-nos, basically. It absolutely cracked me up. I was just starting to learn about the lifestyle, and my own role in it, and I find your journal to be well thought-out, introspective, interesting, witty, and frequently helpful (enough ego stroking for you? ;p)
To be perfectly blunt I find some of the things you say and practice to be down right disturbing. But fuck, who the hell am I to judge? No, I don’t agree with everything about your life but that’s because it’s YOUR life and you’re living it YOUR way. Not mine. I continue to read because I find your journal to be all of the things I mentioned in that last paragraph, and because I think it’s always a good idea to get a good look at the things you don’t aggree with. ‘Cause sometimes it turns out you do aggree with them. And if you still don’t… well, now you’re a more well informed individual. As for the others? Some people just thrive on conflict. It’s very nearly an illness, I think.
There are times when I read what you do and I absolutely shudder. But there are times when I read and just plain old turn green with envy. It’s been a good while since I’ve been in a position to use any ideas I might “steal” from you… but believe me when I’m in that position again I’m sure I’ll be thanking you. Or possibly cursing your name, lol.
The cunt in a cage idea is one of the things on your journal that I have to admit I find kind of disturbing. In large part, I think, because I could just imagine getting so damn bored with it! But like I said before: Who am I to judge? I’m absolutely no one. As far as how realistic it is… I wish you absolutely all the best if it’s what will make you and your Master happy. It seems to me that the logistics of it could be awfully difficult, but difficult doesn’t mean impossible. If there is a way I hope you find it.
Though I *am* interested in how people find it.
I got here via ErosBlog. And I found THAT because I was looking for (vanilla) porn
.
I was initially horrified – I think I came across some of the more intense things like the toilet stuff and cunt in a cage really early. And then it quickly became apparent that you had thoroughly thought through your life and were doing all these things because you wanted to. So after that I kept reading because (1) I hate judging other people’s choice based on my own prejudices (2) you are interesting. And funny.
I still think you’re mad, but in a “I wouldn’t do that in a fit” way not a “that woman has issues” way. So thanks for broadening my horizons.
What do you really think of the ’cunt in a cage’ plan? Realistic or completely insane and doomed to failure?
I’ll be surprised if it’s maintainable over periods more than a few weeks/months at a time… I think you’d end up with physical and mental health issues that would make you not any fun for your Master – I gather he likes you with personality. But what do I know about it (I can answer that – not much) so go for gold, who knows what will happen.
If you are one of the people who read it but don’t like or agree with what I say, WHY do you continue to read?
I certainly don’t agree with everything you say, nor have I loved everything you’ve had to say. I find your viewpoint interesting, and I can just identify with enough of it for it to be relevant to me. Cuz ya know – it’s all about me.
Have you ever read us and gone off to do what we just did or do you shudder and say “Thank GOD we aren’t into that!”?
Are you kidding? I’m a wimp. I can take a reasonably solid spanking (with a warmup), but that’s really the only pain I find appealing. And I totally Top from the bottom. Doesn’t always work, but it does often enough to reinforce the habit. LOL
I don’t have to want to follow someone’s path to find their journey interesting.
I also read because you seem real; starry-eyed tales do little for me.
I found you through a link on a livejournal group to one of your posts about balancing parenthood with BDSM. I kept reading because I liked your style and you were interesting.
Most of your play is a lot heavier than anything my master and I do as we’re less into pain that you and your Master are so every time I look at something and think “I really hope he doesn’t want to do/get that” I know I probably don’t have to worry (probably being the key word). That said, my master has shown definite interest in the Circle of Pain, although he’d probably have me make one since I think I have all the supplies here anyway. And I’ve definitely taken away thoughts for toys I would like to have (the inflatable butt plug is on that list), whether I get them or not is yet to be seen.
As far as “cunt in a cage” goes, I don’t think I could personally handle it in any sane way and keep any of the things that attracted my master to me in the first place. If you can fabulous and really if anyone can manage it, I think it will be you.
How I found you:
~~It’s been a while but if I remember correctly, I found Toy’s blog (probably by googling “fucktoy” since being a used as a fucktoy is one of my fondest fantasies/realities!) and I followed a link from there to your old LJ.
“If you are one of the people who read it but don’t like or agree with what I say, WHY do you continue to read?”
~~I don’t always like/agree with everything but it’s always interesting!
“Is there anything you’d want to see me make and sell? Craft ideas?”
~~There are these things for nursing moms — I think they are called nursing supplementers — but they are kinda expensive. Maybe you could find a cheaper way to make them so I could afford one! Basically, it’s a plastic, refillable bag that you wear on a cord around your neck and it has a narrow little tube from the bottom of it that runs down to your nipple. (Or maybe 2 tubes, one for each nipple.) Anyway, nursing moms with a low milk supply can fill the bag with pumped breastmilk or formula to supplement the baby a the same time he’s nursing at the breast. So the baby basically suckles the breast but also has the little tube in his mouth at the same time, so he gets extra fluid through it, too. My fantasy is to fill the bag with a nice red wine and let my Love drink from my breasts. (Well, the drink would really be coming from the tube, but he’d be sucking my tit, too, if you know what I mean!) One of my naughtier fantasies is working as a “waitress” in a bar where I serve all the drinks this way.;-)
“I know I read other people and “steal” ideas for play from them all the time. Have you ever read us and gone off to do what we just did or do you shudder and say “Thank GOD we aren’t into that!”? ”
~~I can’t remember for sure if I’ve ever stole an idea from you, but probably not since I am submissive but not into pain. Sometimes I do shudder a bit. Breathplay and (ewwww)licking the toliet are two things that made me shudder. (Although, I do want my Love to pee in my mouth someday. I’m odd that way — go figure.)
“What do you really think of the ’cunt in a cage’ plan?”
~~Honestly, I can’t see it working or either of you being happy with it longterm, but maybe we’ll see!
Love ya,
sweet_slut
tee hee! Thanks for detailing the paths and links. I love it!
Thank you all for your answers. My ego is properly stroked.
Hugs!
I fluctuate between a 14 and 16 and I’m heavier than 160. By 10 to 15lbs, depending on the time of the month.
Sounds like you’re about the same size as me, then, except I think you carry it better. Mine seems to all be around my belly (which Master doesn’t like) and my ass (which he likes very much!).