Can we get an update on the pets? How many dogs, cats, and other critters are you up to now? Any plans in the near future to add more?
We have four cats and two dogs, plus the 14 chickens. There aren’t any plans to add anymore. I was doing foster work for the local shelter here but after the last dog, I’m not sure I’ll do it again. I’m starting to see behaviors in my two dogs that I don’t like and I’m guessing it came about because of having strange dogs temporarily invading their space.
I really do enjoy the chickens but god damn are they a pain in the ass, lol. I very much wanted to let them free range, but of course they are little fuckers and wouldn’t stay out of the road, they wouldn’t stay out of the garage, they wouldn’t stay off the front porch- shitting everywhere on the sidewalk. They ate my hostas! It was mostly the hanging-out-in-the-road bit that sealed their fate because, while we don’t have a whole lot of traffic here, watching cars hit their brakes (and their horns) while my chickens waddled their conga line across the road was embarrassing. So. We hastily put up a fence, which I hate the looks of, seriously.
And then over this winter we’ve discovered a hundred things we need to change about the coop. Basically we need to empty it and start over. The perches are wrong, the doors are wrong, there aren’t any windows so there is no natural light unless the door is open, the access to the electricity is wrong, which I need to keep their water from freezing and for lighting. It is not insulated well enough for this climate, the door is facing north (derp) so it gets all the wind, and as the snow got deeper, I can’t even access the chicken door anymore, only the front ‘people’ door, which I now have to leave open during the day because it’s the only thing I can open but it’s not inside the fence at all and blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda….
Backyard chickens as a “hobby”? Ha! Lies. All lies.
I am 22 and new to the lifestyle. My question for you is how you and your master met? I have been talking to a man for about 6 months now and he is ready for us to meet. I am very apprehensive about meeting him. I think about everything that could possibly go wrong. I was hoping you might have some advice.
Well, I already answered the how we met question in the previous post so I’ll skip that part and touch on the rest.
If I could ask you a question in return: If this was a vanilla guy you were thinking about meeting, would you be any less apprehensive? There seems to be a tendency for people to see the kink-world as a dark, seedy place where the creepers hang out, but I don’t think it’s any different than the vanilla dating world. So I’m curious if it’s the kink part that is making you apprehensive.
There are ways to meet someone that are safe. Certainly safer than how Master and I did it, lol. I’m guessing if you’ve already been talking for 6 months, you’ve at least exchanged photos or skyped or phoned or something along those lines. So hopefully, you’ve eliminated the omg-he’s-really-an-80-year-old-woman! possibility.
6 months of online dating without a meet up is a long time (to me!). That’s a long investment in a relationship that could end the moment you lay eyes on each other. There is SUCH a difference between online and real time interaction that I don’t care how sure someone is that they have found “the one”, until you’ve met face to face– just no.
The bottom line, in my opinion, is that you are wasting your time *until you meet*. You’re only 22, you have a lot of time to waste, but how much more of yourself do you want to invest before something more concrete is in place?
Is he far away? Who is traveling to see who? He should be just as aware as you of the possibilities of things going south. So maybe the first meet should be one with no strings attached. Maybe he (or you) gets your own motel room, one you don’t even have to tell the other where it is or what the room number is so that you can ‘escape’ to safety if you need to, meet in a public place with lots of people around…
But if it’s the possibility of things going wrong later on into the relationship that you’re worried about, well… yeah. That’s a possibility. It’s no more of a possibility than in a vanilla relationship. What are your options, though, if you want to avoid that? Never have a relationship? Never take that chance? Of course not. You take the chance because if you don’t, you’re not living.
There is always a way back, even if things go spectacularly wrong. It’s better to have tried.
Do you ever get sub drop? And if you do, how do you deal with it? I almost never did when I was in a 24/7 M/s relationship but now that I’m (mostly) single, I really enjoy it when I get the opportunity to play, but I find I am much more likely to get sub drop afterward. Which is happening right this minute, so I thought I’d ask about it.
I’m sorry you’re dropping. That’s really suckful.
I wouldn’t say I never drop, but its not very often, and I would guess that, as you mentioned the 24/7 bit, there’s not really a complete stop. There are peaks and valleys, but even down in the valley there’s a steady stream to float on- mostly.
When I do have it, I cut myself some slack. I figure I earned it. It’s really pretty similar to having pms (for me anyway). I know it’s coming, I know how it’s going to feel, but more importantly, I know it’ll end. So I ate my chocolate when he’d let me, I watched my sappy movies that made me cry, and I kept my exposure to other people at a minimum because I knew I was snappy and unpleasant. I have almost the same method for subdrop. Chocolate, tears, solitude. -nods-
If you could go back and UNdo *one* thing in your life, completely removing it from having ever happened, what would it be and why?
My second husband. Yep. I would completely erase him from my life. I gained absolutely nothing, in fact I lost a great deal, not the least of which was respect for myself as a person and as a mother. He was spiraling out of control and taking me and my kids with him. I have apologized profusely to my kids for that period of their lives and I have nothing but regret for all of it. All of it.
I am really not the kind of person who would otherwise think this but– I’m glad he’s dead. Time has given me a lot of perspective on the circumstances surrounding his death. People don’t know the half of what he put me through and there is nobody to blame but myself but in the end, he got what he deserved.
What is the one request or task Scott asks of you that you hate doing? The one you’d rather not do ever again (if you had the choice)?
Asking to go to the bathroom. It seems like such a simple thing and I don’t know why it’s such a point of contention for me, but it is and that’s that. I hate it.
I am such a terrible slave. You wouldn’t believe the level I go to to avoid asking to go, lol. If I know he’s going to be leaving soon, like in the morning when he’s getting ready for work, I’ll hold it until he leaves. Because I only have to ask when he’s here at home. I used to have to call or text but there are times he can’t answer me for hours so he had to do away with that (haha! Victory!) so I wait until he leaves and then I go.
Or, like if he’s sleeping, he doesn’t want me to wake him up to ask, so sometimes if he’s on the couch vegging out and I can tell he’s getting sleepy, I’ll putz around until his eyes shut. That can be rough though, because if he’s NOT sleeping and I go, he gets piiiisssssed. So I’ll stand there, kind of shifting from one foot to the other waiting to see if he’s moving or blinking or breathing steady and if he looks like he’s asleep then I’ll tippy toe toward the bathroom and then sometimes I hear “Where the fuck do you think you’re going, cunt?” and it scares the shit out of me every god damn time. I feel like a kid getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar, lol.
But yeah, that rule humiliates me something awful. If we’re with other people and there is no way for me to ask without them hearing me, I’ll hold it for as long as I can and hope that we either vacate their company before my bladder explodes or hope for a chance to whisper it to him or something. Then sometimes he’ll be like “What was that, cunt? I can’t hear you. Speak up.” even though he DID hear me, he’s just being a dick only now he’s drawn everyone’s attention to me and that makes it worse, so then I get all “Nothing. Nevermind, I don’t want anything.” which is the WRONG thing to say because then as far as he’s concerned I’ve turned it into a battle of wills and he’s not going to lose and now people are really watching. Watching and laughing. Usually.
Ugh. And if I’m mad at him? UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh my god I hate it the WORST right then. I’d rather scoot down a slide of razor blades into a pool of rubbing alcohol.
It’s not even that he makes it difficult- usually. Most of the time his answer is simply “Yes, you may.” with no derision in his voice, no fanfare, no nothing. It’s just so debasing. And I know other people don’t feel that way about it at all, it’s no big deal, it doesn’t even blip their humiliation radar, but they are not me and I am not them and for me, it’s way way up there on the scale.
It seems I do a whole lot of trying to get around that rule without actually breaking the rule. But as much as I hate to admit it, if he relaxed any on the rule, I’d be… ugh. I’d be sad. But don’t tell him that. Stupid masochism.
And I’m curious what’s the one question you get asked that annoys you the most? And why? (Please).
This is a tough one. I don’t generally find questions annoying so I had to think on this a bit.
I guess it would be anything that questions why Master would do something or not do something because their own Master doesn’t do it that way. For instance “Gasp! You’re wearing underwear?! Why does he let you wear underwear?” or “Why aren’t you shaved? I have rules for shaving.” Anything like that.
Your rules aren’t my rules, if they were, I’d be following them. I guess that’s what bugs me about it. The assumption that a) I’m not following the rules, or b) there are universal rules for all slaves to follow.
But it’s a minor annoyance, really.
Thank you for asking!!
March is Q&A month. If you have a question, leave it in the comments here, you can ask anonymously or not, or you can email me at kaya (at) underhishand.com or you can message me on Fetlife.